Sunday, March 16, 2008

Shoddy Metaphors

03/14:Spider-Man does not have webbed feet, though his frequent ally Howard the Duck does. Also, I don't think the death warrant metaphor is really a good fit for this. I mean, they don't go to people's deathbeds and make them sign their death warrants before passing away and therefore it would be foolish to think that someone you're about to kill in some way would sign one. It'd go like this:

[Spider-Man swings in through a window]
[Simon Krandis emerges from the shadows]
Simon Krandis: Greetings, Spider-Man. Now, I must insist you sign this death warrant so that I may kill you.
Spider-Man: Are you crazy? I'm not signing that thing!
Simon Krandis: Drat! Foiled again!

I realize this is a long way to go to basically say it's a shoddy metaphor.

03/15:An underground entrance? Snazzy! Also, really freaking paranoid.

03/16:Here we see Spider-Man using logic, and acknowledging that Simon Krandis has become insane. We are also reminded of the Persuader's Mary Jane lust, and another shoddy attempt at metaphor by Simon Krandis. What's worse is that the NEXT box points this out, and when they take take off their duty of teasing us to point out that your metaphor is shoddy, that's bad.


Tommy said...

Death Warrant...Warrant...Web of Spider-Man flashbacks... @_@ ZOWIE!!

Warrant, the bounty hunter that disappeared sometime after The Arachnis Project to my knowledge. I guess I can google him and see if he's one of the many tools that are part of the Initiative.

Mike Podgor said...

As far as I can gather, neither hide nor hair has been seen of THAT Warrant for quite some time.

J Doe said...

Kind of like Jimmy Godero.

Anonymous said...

Well, he kinda has webbed feet, since his boots have webs on them.