All the Strips Fall into Line

I've made my apologies, now let's do some comicky stuff. Ten days worth of it! With the return of Thing I Liked!

08/04:You know, wouldn't Jameson's arm be yanked out of its socket? He's an old newspaper guy, after all, his joints aren't what they used to be.

TIL: Jameson's pleading in panel two.

08/05:I'm not a man who knows a lot about helicopters, but I do know a bit about Spider-Man, and the man probably weighs under two hundred pounds. Would an extra person of that size have any visible effect on a helicopter?

TIL: Speed lines in panel two. You can't go wrong with speed-lines.

08/06:Flying man with hostage versus helicopter: I think we all know who the winner in that confrontation would be.

It would be us.

TIL: Once again, Jameson's pleading in panel two.

08/07:
Huh... my local paper started carrying the strip a bit ago, so I've read each of these the day they came out. I must say, though, that when you read them all together like this it does a pretty nifty job with suspense. Perhaps this week is just a fluke, though, as I doubt anything could make the Pestilent Parker bit be interesting.

Still have to wonder why the Vulture is using chemicals instead of his supposedly razor-sharp wings.

TIL: The alternating point of view is pretty keen.

08/08:The Vulture does something many villains never do: learn.

TIL: Tiny Jameson in panel one. I know it's perspective, but it's still rather silly to see.

08/09:
That is one cruddy anti-gravity device if you can clog it just with webbing. At the high altitude the Vulture operates at, you would think that frost would sort of build up a bit, and he'd compensate for this somehow. This would also take care of the thin veneer of webbing Spider-Man is putting on there.

TIL: Panel two is funny, I think.

08/10:I like how this makes Spider-Man out to be the world's biggest jerk. "Oh, so I can only save one of you? Nah, not choosing. See you later!"

TIL: Jameson in the final panel.

08/11:Now, Spider-Man is being a bit less of a jerk by only letting the super-criminal die. While I could argue that we both know he won't, I remember when the Scorpion was in the strip and Spider-Man sort of let him drown. Will we have a repeat of passive homicide?

TIL: Jameson continues to be a highlight of this falling adventure.

08/12:
Jameson shouldn't be so surprised: Spider-Man has saved him hundreds of times before.

TIL: Jameson clinging to the top of that building. Magnificent.

08/13:
Huh. Sort of underwhelming, really.

TIL: Speed lines, and the fact that the Vulture looks like he's clawing at the air.

Krandis the Escape Artist

04/05:Krandis could have pulled out that gun at any point while Spider-Man was gawking at the Persuader and shot him at close range. Instead, he waits until Spider-Man is done gawking and tries to escape BEFORE pulling out the gun. Heck, a smart thing to do (at least short-term) would be to shoot Mary Jane in the leg or some non-vital part so Spider-Man would have to save her, first, before going after Krandis. It'd all be moot in the end, though, since he would then be guilty of a myriad of crimes and would be on the run from a ticked-off Spider-Man.

04/06:Spider-Man is engaging is stupid platitudes now, and I can't think of who he sounds like. Not Mary Worth... oh wait. He sounds like the Hitchhiker, from the defunct HBO show of the same name. It's uncanny how similar Spider-Man's dialog from panels 4-6 sound like something the Hitchhiker would say. Also, note at this point that we've pretty much forgotten all about the Persuader. Poor guy. Now all we've got to look forward to is Krandis trying to bribe Spider-Man (conjectured from the NEXT box) and the in-strip wrap-up. I, for one, am glad this whole stupid storyline is drawing to a close.

The Persuader: Still Dead

04/02:Spider-Man utilizes his exploitation power in the first panel. He has the proportionate expository ability of a spider! Meanwhile, Mary Jane is in shock that the Persuader killed himself for her. Simon Krandis is, most likely, making a quick escape while Spider-Man stares dumbly at his wife who, in turn, is staring in shock at the Persuader's body.

04/03:Spider-Man artfully ignores the dead body and asks his wife if she's all right. Truth be told, Spider-Man is probably in shock (pun not intended) and doesn't know how to handle this situation. He obviously wants to ignore the Persuader's lifeless body for as long as he can, but can't really comfort Mary Jane since she's all worked up about that same lifeless body. This will take about a week to resolve, I think, all while Mary Jane reiterates that the Persuader gave his life for hers and Spider-Man just sort of stands there. If Simon Krandis hasn't made it to Mexico by then, the man is a lot dumber than previously thought.

On a side note, I'm going to be very surprised if "Cleats" doesn't show up here at some point this week.

Marvel Way

03/30:Mary Jane keeps on changing her clothes today, it would seem. Also, the "NEXT" box fills me with hope! Soon we will be rid of Simon Krandis and his incredibly convoluted, destined-to-fail plan. The Persuader I could take or leave, honestly, and Jimmy Godero... just sort of vanished. All in all, Jameson should be happy about the fall of Krandis.

Ah, and I see the door's been fixed.

03/31:I can't tell what Mary Jane is wearing today, and Spider-Man is speaking in Yoda-like sentence fragments. Though I would supposed Yoda would say "Reach her I must!". Not to mention the fact that this is, by far, the artsiest panel we've had. It's one panel, but it's split by the door! That's the Marvel way of doing things, I suppose.

Also, it looks like the Persuader is going to push Mary Jane out of the way and electrocute himself on the door. It's a shame that they've wasted the past few days actually giving the guy some character and now he's going to get killed. Alas, that is also the Marvel way of doing things.

Love and Death-traps

03/26:The Krandis Mansion has remarkably thin walls if Spider-Man can hear his wife's screams from a hidden subterranean cave.

03/27:The mansion does have one death-trap, it would seem, and only one. Well, two if you count the booby-trapped windows, but those are really outside the mansion.

03/28:The Persuader takes a surprising turn by wanting the woman he loves to be happy, no matter the cost. I was half-expecting the Persuader to attempt to take down Spider-Man himself in order to win Mary Jane, but only after taking out Simon Krandis. Also, how is Spider-Man going to fit through that tiny door?

03/29:Ah, it was just faulty perspective. As for the death-trap itself, the machine that activates it looks like something from an old science fiction movie. Also, if I'm correct in assuming that the door Spider-Man is headed towards is the same Mary Jane is headed towards, it brings up several questions. Namely:
1) Why is the doorknob on the left side of both sides of the door?
2) It looks like wood, and I'm pretty sure wood can't conduct electricity.
3) Isn't it sort of foolish to have a door leading from your stately mansion into your subterranean cave? I mean, if the door was hidden behind a grandfather clock that'd be one thing. Just out in the open like that, though? That's asking for trouble. Don't even say that it's fine because it's booby-trapped, because then Simon Krandis would be sending the Persuader out with dead servants all the time since they touched the door. Perhaps that's what happened with Jimmy Godero.

Spider-Man is a Smash!

03/23:Spider-Man can now be arrested for vigilantism, breaking and entering, and destruction of property. After all, at this point and time the world at large knows Simon Krandis as a legitimate if unethical businessman. If he plays his cards right, the police force could be on a manhunt for Spider-Man within the hour. Or, if Krandis acts quickly, they could even show up at his house and legally end his spider-problem. Since Krandis owns a cave, he can just keep the Persuader and Mary Jane there while the police are kept totally unawares...

03/24:...instead, he'll make the typical villain flaw of continuing to get Spider-Man himself. Also, note that Spider-Man's reasons for bashing through the wall have gone from rightful wariness to sheer delight of property damage. That's why he's our hero, that is.

Shoddy Metaphors

03/14:Spider-Man does not have webbed feet, though his frequent ally Howard the Duck does. Also, I don't think the death warrant metaphor is really a good fit for this. I mean, they don't go to people's deathbeds and make them sign their death warrants before passing away and therefore it would be foolish to think that someone you're about to kill in some way would sign one. It'd go like this:

[Spider-Man swings in through a window]
[Simon Krandis emerges from the shadows]
Simon Krandis: Greetings, Spider-Man. Now, I must insist you sign this death warrant so that I may kill you.
Spider-Man: Are you crazy? I'm not signing that thing!
Simon Krandis: Drat! Foiled again!

I realize this is a long way to go to basically say it's a shoddy metaphor.

03/15:An underground entrance? Snazzy! Also, really freaking paranoid.

03/16:Here we see Spider-Man using logic, and acknowledging that Simon Krandis has become insane. We are also reminded of the Persuader's Mary Jane lust, and another shoddy attempt at metaphor by Simon Krandis. What's worse is that the NEXT box points this out, and when they take take off their duty of teasing us to point out that your metaphor is shoddy, that's bad.

The Amazing Spider-Plan

01/22:
Peter is especially oblivious in this installment, probably replying on auto-pilot while perusing the paper and sipping his coffee. Meanwhile, Mary Jane is in her cheesecake outfit and gushing about her good review. I guess this is why they have no kids: Mary Jane has to blindside him when he comes home to make him notice her.

01/23:
Mary Jane is understandably concerned at how excited her husband is at the mention of Jimmy Godero, especially considering yesterday's strip. Peter looks quite mischevious in the first panel, as well, probably adding to her apprehension.

01/24:
Why, it's the Amazing Spider-Plan! (badum kish). Other than that, I got nothing.

01/25:
Peter's smug indicates that the last thing he cares about is Mary Jane's play. Poor Mary Jane. I do like her green trench-coat, though. It's snazzy.

01/26:
Uh oh, evil is afoot! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL! Spider-Man should have given Jimmy Godero a signal bracelet, too.

01/27:

Today, we see yesterday's final panel expand into five other panels! My god, but isn't that amazing?

01/28:
You know, in order to keep Godero safe, they could have just put Spider-Man in the truck and left Godero at the prison. Just sayin'.

The Plot... MOVES

01/15:Simon Krandis is obviously exaggerating, as he seems the type to go into women's locker rooms demanding one of them go out with him. Spider-Man may also be underselling Krandis's intelligence. In any case, he's forgetting he just stood his wife up on her opening night. Good job, Spidey. Obviously, that great responsibility you have doesn't cover your responsibilities as a spouse.

01/16:
I gather they usually succumb to the thuggish brute that arrives and informs them that Mister Krandis would like their company, because threats are obviously the way to a woman's heart. Or perhaps they enjoy the fact that you ignore their personal space and whatnot by barging into their rooms and stuff. Krandis could probably be jailed at this point from the trespassing and sexual coercion charges alone.

Also: I like Krandis's pouty face.

01/17:
It's so late at night that the sky is especially bright. Either that or it's some sort of reverse-eclipse.

01/18:
I really like how Peter and Mary Jane are really worried that the world will piece together that Spider-Man and Mary Jane have something going on, yet they pull stuff like this. Now, if they lived somewhere like Cleveland, I could understand that there might be no people on the street. I've seen it happen. In New York, though, the city that traditionally never sleeps? There'd be a whole crowd of people around watching Spider-Man pick up Mary Jane and twirl her around or whatever he's doing.

Is... is he going to toss her up in the air and catch her on the way down?

01/19:
I've never heard of Mary Jane getting airsick before, and I'm sure that we would have heard something due to the fact that she and Peter recently went on a round-trip to Los Angeles. More likely, she remembered they were trying to keep their relationship a secret and used this as a flimsy pretext to avoid drawing attention to themselves. She most likely did this so we wouldn't have to spend a week reading about Peter whining about Mary Jane refusing his invitation.

01/20:
"It was a good night, except for the fact that you and Simon Krandis put undue stress on me."

In that first panel on the bottom there... is that the symbiote popping up behind Peter? I mean, they didn't expect us to forget that Peter was Spider-Man in the two panels since he took off his mask but retained the rest of his costume, did they? Or are we supposed to interpret that as the spectre of Spider-Man looming over their relationship since Peter is seemingly incapable of not drawing attention to it? Which would make no sense, since she's talking about Simon Krandis in that panel.

On a good note, I like how Peter's mask looks sort of like a Pac-Man ghost in the middle-bottom panel.

01/21:
Ah yes, the bracelet which allows Spider-Man's Gal-Pal to summon him. I hope she actually uses it at some point soon for something more than breakfast in bed. Also, what the heck is Mary Jane talking about? She got rid of Simon Krandis herself! And Peter sounds like a tool for using "'twas", though if I could get away with doing so socially I would. Hm... what if I did this whole blog in Shakespearean-style for a week? Hmm...

The Krandis Konfrontation

01/08:
The Persuader obviously can't dish it out as well as he can take it. At least, against an opponent who can actually fight back. Oh, and I love the last panel.

01/09:
You know, I kind of wish Mary Jane did go homicidal and attack Spider-Man every so often. It'd spice things up a bit, to be certain.

01/10:
I'm not sure why Simon Krandis would call her "MJ" and think it's okay. Seems a bit uppity, that does. I do like Simon Krandis's evening wear, though.

01/11:
So Mary Jane changed from a pink v-neck shirt to a pink turtleneck shirt. Oh, and Simon Krandis has splendid taste in evening wear. Ah, and he looks vaguely like a fat Owl. At least, before the Owl turned all creepy looking.

01/12:
It would be funny if Mary Jane had Simon Krandis arrested for attempted sexual assault or something, thereby ending this whole storyline. Oh, or maybe a restraining order and then he could violate the order. They should just make the whole strip more like "Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane", actually.

01/13:
Wait, Simon Krandis doesn't look like the Owl. He looks like Grandpa Munster, except with a bad comb-over instead of a widow's peak.

01/14:I'll say this for Simon Krandis: he has nerves of steel, poking Spider-Man like that.

Oh my Goodness! Action!

As usual, the "Thing I Liked" comment will go away until I'm through the moderately small amount of back-log.

01/01:The fact that the Persuader is paying someone to burn the Daily Bugle trucks sort of detracts from his whole character. I mean, he's not persuading anyone to do anything, or even strong-arming them into doing it. Granted, you could say that he's using the money to persuade, but I'm not sure that strictly counts.

01/02:
Now we find out why Spider-Man deemed this Daily Bugle truck so important. If he hadn't, he would never have found the Persuader. So he missed his wife's play, so what? At least he might nab a crook or two.

01/03:
Spider-Man did something similar, but much more destructive than this, nearly a year ago. Last time, we were immediately graced with the Land Captain. I doubt we will be so lucky this time.

01/04:
Spider-Man is, of course, referring to our old friend the King of the Newspaper Jockies. I also like how the strip has been sort of exciting for the past two days, though that fact is diminished by the weeks of tedium we had to go through to get to this point. On another note, the Persuader's friend looks sort of like a crew-cut Weasel.

01/05:
So now we learn that the Persuader, originally thought to be some big thug with a moderate amount of strength, actually has super-strength. He would have to, since Spider-Man's webbing has been proven to be able to hold pretty much anyone. Not to mention the fact that he knocked down a lamppost.

01/06:
Spider-Man is actually in danger! Yowza!

01/07:
Now we have Spider-Man actually using physical force on someone. It'll probably be over soon, though, regrettably.