Crime Finally Tries to Pay

On Sunday, we were pretty much told this was going to happen. That was the right decision, in a way, since we had no clue that we would learn the supposed truth about the Persuader. Also, there's really nothing for Simon to worry about. If he goes to prison (a man with that much money and a freaking cave should have some good lawyers), then it'll no doubt be one of those white collar prisons. There's no way they'd toss him in the super-criminal prison, or even the normal criminal prison. Besides, I think there's some legal loophole that says that attempted murder of a superhero is a low-level crime.

Also: I find it delightful that Mary Jane, who supposedly knows of her husband's spider-sense, feels the need to let him know that Simon might be pulling a gun. No doubt she's been reading this strip and knows how unreliable the spider-sense truly is.

Spider-Man Burns Simon Krandis

Panel two, with Simon's excessive stuttering, promotes the theory that he's making this up as he goes along. Panel three made me laugh. It made me laugh a lot, actually, because of Spider-Man's sarcasm. If there was any justice, tomorrow's comic would be Simon getting all flustered and Mary Jane smacking Spider-Man in the back of the head for being so callous. In any case, Spider-Man totally burned Simon Krandis, and I think that's as super-heroic a victory as we're going to get.

The Persuader: Joseph Krandis!

Hannerz got it closest, hypothesizing that the Simon Krandis was the Persuader's father. Good job.Anyway, now that Simon Krandis is suddenly remorseful that his brother (whom he was paying to be a thug, no less) is dead, he'll go along somewhat quietly. I'm sure the rest of the week will either feature the aftermath of Simon's confession and capture, or he'll prattle on about his mother and father wanting a better life or something. The only thing I'm confused about is why the Persuader (or Joseph Krandis, if you like) called his brother "Krandis" so often instead of Simon. Perhaps he had amnesia or something. We'll find out tomorrow, I guess.

Also: have you chosen your own blogventure?

The Truth About the Persuader?!

Blah blah blah, recap recap recap, truth about the Persuader... wait, what? The truth about the Persuader? So he isn't just some thug with a shoddy nickname who sacrificed himself for Mary Jane? Against all odds, I'm kind of interested, though I know it will prove to be boring and rather redundant. Still, might be good for something.

Also: They should move that body pretty soon, I think.

Krandis: Consigned to his Fate

Simon Krandis is awfully resigned to his fate. I'd expect him to flail a bit, maybe throw a punch. Yes, it would be futile, but it would something.

Also: An announcement! New blog from me coming soon! Details here, if you want them!

Krandis the Escape Artist

04/05:Krandis could have pulled out that gun at any point while Spider-Man was gawking at the Persuader and shot him at close range. Instead, he waits until Spider-Man is done gawking and tries to escape BEFORE pulling out the gun. Heck, a smart thing to do (at least short-term) would be to shoot Mary Jane in the leg or some non-vital part so Spider-Man would have to save her, first, before going after Krandis. It'd all be moot in the end, though, since he would then be guilty of a myriad of crimes and would be on the run from a ticked-off Spider-Man.

04/06:Spider-Man is engaging is stupid platitudes now, and I can't think of who he sounds like. Not Mary Worth... oh wait. He sounds like the Hitchhiker, from the defunct HBO show of the same name. It's uncanny how similar Spider-Man's dialog from panels 4-6 sound like something the Hitchhiker would say. Also, note at this point that we've pretty much forgotten all about the Persuader. Poor guy. Now all we've got to look forward to is Krandis trying to bribe Spider-Man (conjectured from the NEXT box) and the in-strip wrap-up. I, for one, am glad this whole stupid storyline is drawing to a close.

The Persuader: Now Actually Dead

Huh. So the Persuader wasn't dead yet. He could have spoken up and maybe someone could have done something for him. If not save his life, then at least get him a pillow or something. Spider-Man just had to get the last word in, though.

Also, Simon Krandis has the right idea. He just should have put it into effect when Spider-Man and Mary Jane were first distracted by the Persuader, not when they're done with him.

Ah, and Spider-Man had another cameo yesterday:Won't little Jeffy be surprised when he learns that Spider-Man makes deals with the devil?

Marvel Way

03/30:Mary Jane keeps on changing her clothes today, it would seem. Also, the "NEXT" box fills me with hope! Soon we will be rid of Simon Krandis and his incredibly convoluted, destined-to-fail plan. The Persuader I could take or leave, honestly, and Jimmy Godero... just sort of vanished. All in all, Jameson should be happy about the fall of Krandis.

Ah, and I see the door's been fixed.

03/31:I can't tell what Mary Jane is wearing today, and Spider-Man is speaking in Yoda-like sentence fragments. Though I would supposed Yoda would say "Reach her I must!". Not to mention the fact that this is, by far, the artsiest panel we've had. It's one panel, but it's split by the door! That's the Marvel way of doing things, I suppose.

Also, it looks like the Persuader is going to push Mary Jane out of the way and electrocute himself on the door. It's a shame that they've wasted the past few days actually giving the guy some character and now he's going to get killed. Alas, that is also the Marvel way of doing things.

Love and Death-traps

03/26:The Krandis Mansion has remarkably thin walls if Spider-Man can hear his wife's screams from a hidden subterranean cave.

03/27:The mansion does have one death-trap, it would seem, and only one. Well, two if you count the booby-trapped windows, but those are really outside the mansion.

03/28:The Persuader takes a surprising turn by wanting the woman he loves to be happy, no matter the cost. I was half-expecting the Persuader to attempt to take down Spider-Man himself in order to win Mary Jane, but only after taking out Simon Krandis. Also, how is Spider-Man going to fit through that tiny door?

03/29:Ah, it was just faulty perspective. As for the death-trap itself, the machine that activates it looks like something from an old science fiction movie. Also, if I'm correct in assuming that the door Spider-Man is headed towards is the same Mary Jane is headed towards, it brings up several questions. Namely:
1) Why is the doorknob on the left side of both sides of the door?
2) It looks like wood, and I'm pretty sure wood can't conduct electricity.
3) Isn't it sort of foolish to have a door leading from your stately mansion into your subterranean cave? I mean, if the door was hidden behind a grandfather clock that'd be one thing. Just out in the open like that, though? That's asking for trouble. Don't even say that it's fine because it's booby-trapped, because then Simon Krandis would be sending the Persuader out with dead servants all the time since they touched the door. Perhaps that's what happened with Jimmy Godero.

False Prediction

Simon Krandis is obviously planning to have the Persuader hurl Mary Jane into Spider-Man like a harpoon. It'll be worth seeing, it will.

Spider-Man is a Smash!

03/23:Spider-Man can now be arrested for vigilantism, breaking and entering, and destruction of property. After all, at this point and time the world at large knows Simon Krandis as a legitimate if unethical businessman. If he plays his cards right, the police force could be on a manhunt for Spider-Man within the hour. Or, if Krandis acts quickly, they could even show up at his house and legally end his spider-problem. Since Krandis owns a cave, he can just keep the Persuader and Mary Jane there while the police are kept totally unawares...

03/24:...instead, he'll make the typical villain flaw of continuing to get Spider-Man himself. Also, note that Spider-Man's reasons for bashing through the wall have gone from rightful wariness to sheer delight of property damage. That's why he's our hero, that is.

Mundane Trap, Bar None

You know what would make this really awesome and fun? If when Spider-Man touched the bars, it emitted a secret signal to a small shed in the backyard which Electro burst out of. Then, he would electrocute Spider-Man. Of course, this won't happen, and instead Spider-Man will simply fall for an obvious yet somewhat effective trap. Also, it looks like Professor Unambitious is about to punch his monitor.

On a side note: the mental image of Spider-Man being electrocuted by the bars makes me want to watch "Jurassic Park".

The Predictable Spider-Man

Preliminary reports stating that Spider-Man was going into the front door have proven to be false. However, considering how his enemy knows that Spider-Man is tracking him and the wall-crawler's usual modus operandi is to enter through windows on the top floor, it may have been safer for Spider-Man to enter through the front door. Also, I would like to point out that the captive Mary Jane is not bound at all, and she appears generally unguarded. Surely she could take out Professor Unambitious? Heck, even if the Persuader is guarding her, I doubt she'd have to do much to make him turn traitor. The guy is already planning to do so already, for god's sake. Also: I just noticed the bars on the windows of the mansion. Classy.

Professor Unambitious

For today's post, instead of talking about today's strip, I shall announce that I have decided to start calling Simon Krandis by a codename: Professor Unambitious! The man could do so much more with his resources, such as the cave and hired thugs, but neglects to do anything more interesting than kidnapping Mary Jane to get to Spider-Man. With a monocle and a lab-coat, Simon Krandis could easily become the nefarious Professor Unambitious. He could even keep the Persuader on the payroll as his traitorous second-in-command, and I'm sure he could find something to do with Jimmy Godero. If he could find Jimmy Godero. Alas, but Simon Krandis suffers from a criminal lack of ambition, and so we shall have no monocle or lab-coat. He shall forever be Professor Unambitious to me, though.

List of Things (I Am Tired)

1) Krandis should seriously be a super-villain. He has a cave under his house, for god's sake, which you get to from his garage.
2) I'm undecided about the "Batman" reference.
3) The Persuader just wants to be told that you're not romantically involved with Spider-Man so he can move in. He suspects nothing, and is undaunted by the fact that you're married.

On-Time, If Late

First off, that's not an underground entrance. That's a garage. Second, unless this is one of those times when Peter's plot-specific spider-sense doesn't work, Peter will be able to figure out he's in some danger. Especially when you consider he knows that Simon Krandis and his cronies are up to no good and should be somewhat on guard anyway.

Shoddy Metaphors

03/14:Spider-Man does not have webbed feet, though his frequent ally Howard the Duck does. Also, I don't think the death warrant metaphor is really a good fit for this. I mean, they don't go to people's deathbeds and make them sign their death warrants before passing away and therefore it would be foolish to think that someone you're about to kill in some way would sign one. It'd go like this:

[Spider-Man swings in through a window]
[Simon Krandis emerges from the shadows]
Simon Krandis: Greetings, Spider-Man. Now, I must insist you sign this death warrant so that I may kill you.
Spider-Man: Are you crazy? I'm not signing that thing!
Simon Krandis: Drat! Foiled again!

I realize this is a long way to go to basically say it's a shoddy metaphor.

03/15:An underground entrance? Snazzy! Also, really freaking paranoid.

03/16:Here we see Spider-Man using logic, and acknowledging that Simon Krandis has become insane. We are also reminded of the Persuader's Mary Jane lust, and another shoddy attempt at metaphor by Simon Krandis. What's worse is that the NEXT box points this out, and when they take take off their duty of teasing us to point out that your metaphor is shoddy, that's bad.

Simon Krandis: Faithless

It's sad when your hired muscle is showing more intelligence than you are. It's also sad when you don't have any faith at all in your exploding car.

Career Paths

Simon Krandis is insane if that's the best way he could think of to kill Spider-Man. All I can say is that the evil costumed super-geniuses lost a great one when he decided to become a thuggish businessman. Case in point: He has a thuggish henchman with a codename. Give each of these guys a gaudy costume and, in Krandis's case, a codename and you'd have a pretty decent evil super-team. Also, it has never been more obvious that the Persuader openly loathes Simon Krandis and will kill him for Mary Jane.

Mary Jane: Trump Card

The first two panels are just exposition and plot clarification. Panel three proves Krandis was somehow behind the exploding car, and tells us that Mary Jane will be his trump card. The most mundane, and therefore most likely, explanation is that Krandis will use hostage MJ as a bargaining tool to get Spider-Man to back off. This will fail when the Persuader steps in, as he has the hots for MJ as well and, presumably, won't suddenly claim to be using her to get to Spider-Man. The second option is that Krandis will use some heretofore unseen scientific connections to turn Mary Jane into a battle-ready cyborg or, perhaps, simply a genetically altered killing machine. Oh, or maybe some sort of hypnotism or magic will unlock Mary Jane's dark side. Any of those options would be great fun and, therefore, will not happen.