Peter Parker has officially stopped caring about his secret identity, unless the cab driver is very stupid or very blind. Also, he's slowly turning into David Hasslehoff.
I have to wonder how little the plot would move if everyone in this universe didn't have their televisions on all the time. Doctor Octopus would still be sitting around in his ramshackle hideout, and no one important would know about Dara Dorset. A strip called "The Especially Slow-Moving Glacier" would probably be speedier.
Everyone in the strip is just now thinking of something I brought up on Sunday. I don't know why Maria is so surprised, as I doubt you can trace a call that's already ended. Maria's anger at the poor schmuck (no doubt some gopher in the wrong place at the wrong time) makes me wish she would fight Margo Magee from "Apartment 3-G". Margo would win, of course, no question about that. It would just be something to see.
I pray that we get to see the guest host, and that he or she is someone interesting. I do not hope that the guest host is either Parker, and we are therefore subjected to either Mary Jane being mopey about not being able to see Peter on Maria's show, or Peter having to pull off a Fred Flintstone-like scheme where he dashes from television studio to television studio in order to pull off both appearances. I know they're probably filmed and broadcast later, but you can't expect this strip to follow that kind of logic.
Today... wait a second. That's not "The Amazing Spider-Man". It's "Zippy the Pinhead". In any case, it tells us that going too far is half the pleasure of not getting anywhere. I assure you, there is no pleasure to be sought from the snail-like pace of "Spider-Man". Oh, here's the actual comic:
Eerily reminiscent of "I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today". What good is telling someone you'll give them proof later when they need the proof now? Any maniac could be calling up Maria Lopez and telling her they're Spider-Man, and to prove it he'll swing in on a web. We know it's Peter, though. I hope we cut to Jameson soon, and I hope he's doing something interesting. Anyone doing anything interesting, actually. Maybe Land Captain can battle Weasel or something, because that's something I would really like to see.
Well, the Parkers and everyone else are still undead. Mary Jane still looks like Morticia Addams, and that's pretty much the only enjoyment I'm getting out of this strip at the moment. I'm sorry, but I can't bring myself to care about Maria Lopez's vain attempts to get in the web-slinger's tights. Mainly because WE JUST DID SOMETHING LIKE THIS. At least this time, Mary Jane is in on it.
I have to admit, I am rather interested in how he's going to prove he's Spider-Man over the phone. Not to mention the fact that both parties are using cell phones. This means they both have caller ID, and an enterprising soul could theoretically use this knowledge to unearth Spider-Man's secret identity. Peter should have used a pay phone.
I hope some super-villain crashes the celebration. I hope SOMETHING happens.
I am not getting the passage of time in this strip. Either Maria has been pleading to get Spider-Man to talk to her for a very long time, or Peter and Mary Jane have just been hopping about their apartment. On the plus side, it appears that everyone has become undead, so maybe things will get interesting.
She's a reporter, Peter. She wouldn't rush home and take a nap when she has an exclusive story to deliver. Though I do have to give credit to the fact that Peter left the television on. Every other time he'd probably be like, "Nah, I'll turn it off anyway" and miss out on something big.
How old is Maria Lopez supposed to be, anyway? In some strips she looks to be in her mid-twenties, in today it looks like she's had "work done" and her face is all pinched up. The differences between her different faces is quite evident in the first panel. In the first panel, it also looks like Spider-Man is leering at her chest. Not to mention the fact that Peter has changed into his pajamas and gotten into bed in the space of what was most likely moments, and looks eerily like "Zippy the Pinhead".
I can't make up my mind about how I feel about this strip. I will say this, however: when I'm reading this strip, the voices I give the characters aren't Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst. I hear the voice-actors from "Spider-Man: The Animated Series", which would be Christopher Daniel Barnes and Sara Ballantine, according to the IMDB. I am intrigued by the "Next" box, though. Things are going to get wild again? In order for something to happen again, doesn't it have to happen a first time?
I have only one question: Does this strip take place before or after the implied ensuing kinkiness of yesterday's strip? I'm guessing it's before, because I doubt the Spider-Man costume would still be on Peter if it's after. Unless they both like it that way? Which is entirely possible. Also, that last panel pretty much tells us that people in this universe can see, but not hear a blasted thing. This is why Daredevil is a super-hero: he can actually hear things.
Spider-Man makes it sound like he wouldn't care if Kordok had killed Dorset and gotten away. Which is not a very healthy attitude to take about super-heroics. It's a good thing Mary Jane is there (how she got back to their apartment and changed into that nightgown thing before Spider-Man web-slinged back is a question we won't dwell upon), otherwise he may call the whole super-hero thing a bust. I think we all know what's going to happen next, so we'll probably cut out for a bit since this is a family strip.
If we're lucky, this will lead to Jonah offering a reward for Spider-Man's mask/secret identity which will lead to extreme bounty hunting shenanigans. If we're not lucky, he'll try to find out Spider-Man's identity for himself. Such a thing could be fun (spider-slayers, anyone?) but knowing this strip, it'll be another three months of nonsense.
Here, Jonah Jameson proves himself to have some amount of intelligence heretofore unseen. Maria Lopez, on the other hand, proves to be dumber than a rock. Everyone in this strip who has tried to find out Spider-Man's secret identity have failed, and in some cases paid a terrible price. When they do succeed, it doesn't stick. I remember a storyline featuring a circus guy and Frog-Man (who could jump really high) where the circus guy stole Mary Jane's wallet and keys, and discovered Peter Parker was Spider-Man. After a crime spree, the guy got amnesia by being kicked in the head by Frog-Man. So Maria Lopez has the following to look forward to:
Jonah is looking creepier and creepier as the days progress. Also, is anyone else getting the vibe that Maria is going to keep the tape for herself, since it features her newest crush? Soon, she'll be posting bad poetry on her LiveJournal about how much she loves Spider-Man, and how over Jonah Jameson she is. Maybe some girl talk about her new BFF Dara Dorset.
Spider-Man should be half-way across the city by now, unless we sort of did a flash-back and yesterday's comic took place while Spider-Man was swinging off to do whatever. Either that, or he's just swinging around the block for no apparent reason. Poor Jonah looks quite weary in the second panel, there. I think all of this excitement took a lot out of the poor guy. I would also like to point out Maria's nose in the third panel. In fact, the third panel in general, which is really making me start to dislike her. More on this as it develops.
A re-hash of yesterday's final two panels, but this time I realized that Mary Jane shouting "Honey!" at Spider-Man is probably the worst thing she could be doing for either of them. If anyone hears, it will spell trouble. Mark my words, it will spell trouble.
Today, I'm going to break this thing down panel by panel.
This is the second time they've accidentally made Maria Lopez's hair red, making her look not unlike Mary Jane. Except with spikier bangs. Unfortunately, it looks like the next storyline will involve Maria Lopez trying to win Spider-Man's spoken-for heart. I hope there's more to it then that, but I doubt there will be.
Okay, the whole storyline was worth the second panel here. I laughed for a whole minute when I saw Kurt Kordok falling from the sky like a portly angel, only to be caught (one-handed, mind you) by the Amazing Spider-Man. This, by the way, does wrap everything up in a single comic. Maria Lopez is saved, Kurt Kordok is captured (for real this time, I hope) and his getaway vehicle is grounded. The writer can move awfully fast when he wants to.
I just love the names of Kordok's henchmen. Lug, Angel, Weasel, and now Spike. They're like the seven dwarves! Except, you know, evil henchmen.
Okay, now I realize Spider-Man's webbing is awfully strong, but a single strand of it holding a helicopter is a bit too much. I also don't know what the heck is going on in the second panel there. The speed lines, coupled with the lack of background, just makes it look like Kordok and Maria are dancing.
It would be really funny if the helicopter had absolutely nothing to do with Kordok and was just flying overhead. Instead, Kordok's "Ace in the hole" was another swift punch to Spider-Man's gut. Also, Maria Lopez could probably wiggle her way out of Kordok's grip if she really wanted to.
When I first read this, I thought the third panel read "It's time to make my movie!" Needless to say, it does not, but things would be far more interesting if it had.
Aw man, I thought we were done with Kurt Kordok! Maria Lopez shows off some great compassion in panel one there, so it's a bit of instant karma that she's Kordok's next hostage. Also, if Kordok is really that dangerous, you'd think there would be more than one cop taking him in.
You know, I actually like today's comic. Not only does Spider-Man put Jonah in his place, but the next box proclaiming that things will be wrapped up? That is the best news I have ever heard. Also, it's funny that the cop Kordok knocked out went from an African-American to a Caucasian. You'd think there'd be coloring guides, but no...
