Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Spider-Man Fails Again

First off, welcome to all the new people who are coming here due to the Comics Curmudgeon. I realize this is the second time I've welcomed the new people, but text is free so I can welcome people as much as I please. In any case, let's get down to the business of this blog: pointing out the narrative and artistic shortcomings of two elderly men who have brought the world infinite amounts of joy.

The Vulture has been seemingly flying about for the past few days (strip time) committing various minor crimes while Spider-Man has been recovering from the flu. I can only imagine the Vulture committing a crime in order to lure Spider-Man to him, and then just hanging around the crime scene for half an hour to see if anyone showed up. Afterwards, he'd head back to his hideout and practice what he would say when Spider-Man finally did show up. As such, I don't think the Vulture so much figured that Spider-Man would try to stop this particular heist, but rather he hoped fervently that Spider-Man would do so.

Spider-Man is also being overly flippant in the first panel, as the heist was not stopped. Well, it was stopped, but only because the Vulture stole the gems he was going after. The only thing Spider-Man did to contribute to this was getting there too late.

I would also like to note that, in the third panel, the Vulture's gems have seemingly vanished. I'm guessing he's dropped them and, even now, the gems are going to land on some unfortunate person's head, killing them instantly. Spider-Man is also pretty screwed.


john said...

there are worse ways to go than being hit by expensive jewels

Anonymous said...

Now we can only wait for the exciting ending to this storyline. How will Spidey prevail without actually doing anything?

Will the Vulture get hit by a low-flying airplane? Maybe he will contract Spidey's flu and be rendered so miserable as to be unable to continue his crime spree? Perhaps Drago's ex-wife will show up and plead with him to come home?

Whatever happens, we can be sure of one thing: Spiderman's amazing super-powers will play no role in bring The Vulture to justice!

Anonymous said...

Sadly, what you describe is almost exactly what The Shocker *requisite hand sign* did. Granted he was waiting for the press to show up, but it's essentially the same thing.

Imagine these guys posing in front of their bathroom mirrors with just their masks on striking various poses/performing karate moves. "Yeah, you like that Spider-Man? Not so amazing now, are you? Ka-pow!"

Anonymous said...

Spidey really ought to be starting his downswing by now. Perhaps he'll disobey the laws of physics sufficiently that he'll get underneath the falling jewels in time for them to konk him on the melon.

It has to happen. We need our monthly "unnnnhhhh."

Unknown said...

I know how this is going to end. The culture will be flying to escape from Spiderman's grasp (not hard) when he'll fly into some powerlines and be electrocuted to death. But wait, wasn't someone electrocuted in the last storyline? Don't worry, 3 months from now when this storyline is concluded and the vulture dies, no one will remember.

Bryce Baker said...

He didn't drop any jewels you fools! He stashed them in those humps on his back in panel 3

Anonymous said...

Wow, panel 2 is a weak attempt at Jack Kirby style! If only the strip had any Kirby dynamism.