Monday, June 30, 2008

Dizziness Ensues

Spider-Man could sit down. I realize he doesn't particularly like to sit down, preferring the wall or ceiling, but it's not like he's not in a situation where sitting down would be frowned upon. He's on a talk show, for god's sake. It's probably preferable for him to sit down. Also, don't they usually film those in the afternoon?

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Tired Logic

So the flu subplot and the Vulture thing might be clashing soon, maybe? Perhaps I was wrong, and the Vulture is going to attack Spider-Man on Maria's show. If only the Vulture realized that being inside a television studio removes his advantages of flight, maneuverability, and speed, then he may have been able to avoid capture. However, despite Spider-Man having a physical advantage there (it being spacious enough for him to move around pretty well, yet enclosed enough to hinder his enemy), the flu might prove to be his undoing.

The NEXT box is really atrocious this time.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

The Plague Bringer?

In the comic book, there's an issue where Spider-Man is on a talk show and Electro attacks him on live television. How you want to bet nothing half that interesting is going to happen here? Oh no, what if he gives Maria Lopez the flu? The suspense!

Friday, June 27, 2008

Mike Podgorski Explains Today's Spider-Man

Mary Jane is obviously annoyed at this turn of events. Does Maria Lopez still have a crush on Spider-Man? Probably. Yet another useless subplot to pad this Vulture storyline...

Thursday, June 26, 2008


Spider-Man is whipped.

Also, we (and by we, I mean me and this blog) just hit 500 posts a little while ago. While this does include 40 metaposts, it also includes 35 posts which feature two or more strips. What this means is that the Amazing Spider-Blog has a comprehensive archive of over 500 strips, each with commentary, going back nearly two years.

Not nearly as impressive when you consider this is a daily strip, but still kind of impressive.

Spider-Man has appeared in 351 of those posts. He's done the split-mask thing 16 times, and has broken out of bondage twice.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Spider-Man and the Vulture: ONE AND THE SAME?!

Totally ignoring Peter's comment in panel two. Okay, Jameson has finally gone around the bend. I'm sure they've fought before, and I'm sure Peter got pictures of that at the time, which means that there's documented proof in the Daily Bugle that Spider-Man and the Vulture have been seen together. And Jameson's picture just looks so gosh-darned smug in that picture. I'd sort of like to smack him.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008


You're supposed to starve a fever and feed a cold, Mary Jane. Seriously. No wonder you're a model/actress/whatever and not a nurse. I know it's just some... triangles and coffee, but still.

Hey, you know how they could take care of the Vulture? Set up something on a rooftop, and put a sniper on a nearby rooftop. Wait for the Vulture to swoop in, and wham, a bullet right in the Vulture's face. He'd have no choice but to go back to jail to get medical attention. Oh, and while he was in there, Lefty could shank him for abandoning him, ending the menace of Blackie Drago forever.

The next storyline will no doubt feature Spider-Man matching wits with a meter maid who keeps putting tickets on Mary Jane's new car (which she will get). There will be little action, and will instead be a battle of wits between Spider-Man and the meter maid. Jameson will mention how Spider-Man is interfering with justice no less than fifteen times, but be dismissed as a crotchety old man despite being completely correct. In the end, it'll turn out that the whole thing is a scam because the meter maid is really a gangster's moll who is using phony tickets to bring in some extra cash.

Sadly, what's really going to happen is probably going to be worse than that.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Fate of Peter Parker

Yet he will do everything in his power to subvert this fate in order to go back out and fight a guy dressed in a Vulture costume. Whom, I might add, he did not tackle. He more sashayed in and totally blew it in every single regard. Also, it looks like Mary Jane is just a torso in panel one. Creepy.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Not Worth Noting

Today, we have Jameson being a jerk, Peter being mopey, and Robbie Robertson being concerned about both of those things. So really, there's absolutely nothing worth noting today, as all that stuff happens all the time.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Jameson: Up to his old tricks

Jameson is overlooking the fact that he will have Spider-Man, and Maria Lopez will not. Also: are those just print-outs or something? How does selling digital photos even work?

Friday, June 20, 2008

Projected Downfall: Laziness

Now, I realize that sometimes, when you get home from work, you just want to relax in front of the computer and so you don't change out of your uniform or work clothes or whatever. However, in most cases, walking around in your work clothes won't reveal your secret identity to nosy neighbors and whatnot.

Also, Peter must consider digital film a godsend. Back before digital cameras, he'd always be facing problems like this and wasting his film to boot.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

An Open Message to the Writers of Spider-Man

I think Stan Lee is doing this to mess with me and people who read this Blog. Case in point: Spider-Man is back home and not sick at all, where all our estimates were for Spider-Man to be falling for at least a week. So, if Stan Lee or someone who works on this strip is reading this Blog: you should really take our suggestions and good-natured ridicule seriously. Make Spider-Man an effective super-hero again, and make the strip a bit more interesting. Please?

Also: Mary Jane is probably thinking, "My man who makes me money!"

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Revenge of the Numbered List

1) Yes, maybe you should patent the web parachute that you made with the world's only pair of web-shooters. You can't really sell them, either, because your webbing dissolves after half an hour or something. And you can't patent a more permanent model, because that would be a normal parachute. So yes, Spider-Man, go ahead and patent your web parachute.

2) You were up in the air for maybe fifteen minutes strip time, if that. It's also a shame that the Vulture got away. It's too bad you don't have any sort of tracer that you could follow him with. A sort of spider tracer... oh wait...

Tuesday, June 17, 2008


As predicted yesterday in the comments section, Spider-Man has made a web parachute which really shouldn't work. You'd think he'd want to use both hands in order to make the process go a bit faster, though. He is falling from a great height, after all.

Monday, June 16, 2008

The Self-Snarking Comic Strip

Are you a comics blogger with a busy schedule beyond making comments of varying degrees of wit about comic strips? Do you find yourself wishing, "Oh boy, I wish I could take the day off every now and again, but these comics aren't going to snark themselves!" Well, here at the "Amazing Spider-Man", we've got a solution to your problem: The self-snarking comic!

Yes, in the final panel, we insert a carefully thought-out piece of snark so that you, the comic strip blogger, can go off and do whatever it is comic strip bloggers do! Perhaps you play golf or something. Who knows? In any case, you can do it that much more with the Self-Snarking Comic Strip.

Currently only available in "Amazing Spider-Man" variety.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Spider-Fall Day One

We're going to get a week of Spider-Man falling through the air and saving himself at the last minute. Part of me thinks this might be pretty funny, as we watch him tumble. Another part of me just wants to get to the next storyline, as this whole Vulture thing has kind of worn out its welcome. Then again, the next storyline is going to feature some sort of mobster. On the plus side, mobsters and whatnot have the best henchmen. On the downside, they're freaking mobsters and most of them are boring as heck.

Please fight some good henchmen next storyline, Spider-Man. Please?

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Doomed One

The fact that it's a liquid nitrogen gun doesn't make this whole scenario any less stupid. Nor does the Vulture calling Spider-Man "Doomed One". The worst part is that, for the next week, we're going to watch Spider-Man fall and then save himself at the last minute while the Vulture gets away. If the Vulture doesn't get away, I'm going to be quite surprised.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Stomach Tether

All right. If you look closely, you can see that the briefcase is somehow tethered to his stomach, with some sort of loop thing coming out of his costume. Which is functional, but at the same time ridiculous. However, one has to wonder where he was keeping that web spray. I'm guessing he was keeping it in that ruffle of feathers on his neck, as that's the only possible place he could be keeping it.

Oh, and if Spider-Man falls, he can just web-sling to a building. So he's really in no danger at all, unless he runs out of web-fluid.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Fisherman or Fish?

I'll buy that the Vulture is able to stay aloft while carrying Spider-Man. He's done it before, after all, so there's no reason he can't do it again. What I won't buy is the increasingly terrible dialog. I mean it's usually not Shakespeare, or even close to Stan Lee's classic stuff, but it's been really terrible this week. I've been trying to figure out what the second panel even means. It's obviously a fishing analogy, but who is the fisherman and who's the fish?

The Vulture could be the fisherman, as he refers to the web-line as a fishing line and remarks that Spider-Man won't be the one to get away. However, the Vulture also remarks that he's the one who got away, leading me to believe that he might be the fish. I'm not looking forward to tomorrow's strip. Ah, and the gems have vanished again, a fact which completely fails to surprise me.

Argh. Now, I like Stan Lee and respect his body of work, but either he's gone further around the bend, or he's gotten wind of this blog and is now using the strip as some sort of weapon against me. If he is, it's working, because my head feels like it's going to explode.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Reader Interaction Time

I'm going to ignore the horrible dialog today, and the fact that New York City appears in a fog bank. Instead, I'm going to focus on the Vulture's loot, and the fact that he has somehow affixed it to himself. How the heck is he doing this? Anyone?

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Spider-Man Fails Again

First off, welcome to all the new people who are coming here due to the Comics Curmudgeon. I realize this is the second time I've welcomed the new people, but text is free so I can welcome people as much as I please. In any case, let's get down to the business of this blog: pointing out the narrative and artistic shortcomings of two elderly men who have brought the world infinite amounts of joy.

The Vulture has been seemingly flying about for the past few days (strip time) committing various minor crimes while Spider-Man has been recovering from the flu. I can only imagine the Vulture committing a crime in order to lure Spider-Man to him, and then just hanging around the crime scene for half an hour to see if anyone showed up. Afterwards, he'd head back to his hideout and practice what he would say when Spider-Man finally did show up. As such, I don't think the Vulture so much figured that Spider-Man would try to stop this particular heist, but rather he hoped fervently that Spider-Man would do so.

Spider-Man is also being overly flippant in the first panel, as the heist was not stopped. Well, it was stopped, but only because the Vulture stole the gems he was going after. The only thing Spider-Man did to contribute to this was getting there too late.

I would also like to note that, in the third panel, the Vulture's gems have seemingly vanished. I'm guessing he's dropped them and, even now, the gems are going to land on some unfortunate person's head, killing them instantly. Spider-Man is also pretty screwed.

Monday, June 09, 2008

Metapost: Hello! =)

If you're coming here from the Comics Curmudgeon, hello! I hope you find this little Blog to your liking.

Metapost: New Link Lists

I took out the "About Me" thing that was on the side, and replaced most of the link lists with this Blog list thing Blogger can do now. Now only does it give you the link and the official name of the Blog, however long it may be, but it tells you when they last updated which is pretty neat. That said, it looks like a lot of the links are pretty much defunct now. Oh well.

Also, you should check out A "Blog About Things, which is about the comic strip "Herb and Jamaal", apparently.

Smart Man

That man is quite bright. The Vulture, however, is dumb as a rock because he honestly thinks that he could get anywhere throwing his body against the helicopter. While I know he can hover or something, you'd still think that doing such a thing would hurt quite a bit.

Oh, and Spider-Man? It's obvious you're bored with this whole thing. Just go back to bed.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Insane Pilot Adventure

Either that man who is exclaiming that he's died and gone to heaven has mistaken the slightly demonic-looking green man for an angel, or he has a very specific fetish. In either case, that man is insane and in really no state to fly a helicopter, let alone anything more complicated than a wagon.

Saturday, June 07, 2008

Spider-Man Back in Action

Spider-Man seems to have forgotten all about the whole secret identity thing, as he's lugging around that camera in plain sight. At the very least, it'll promote some awkward questions by those who see it. Namely, "Why is Spider-Man carrying around a camera?"

We can only assume that Spider-Man is close to the helicopter in panels one and three.

Oh, and people know the Vulture is flying about. Wouldn't they realize that a flying thief could get into a helicopter more easily than an armored car?

Friday, June 06, 2008

Mary Jane: Perhaps an Idiot

Mary Jane is an idiot if she thinks Peter's going to take a few photos and come right home. If she wasn't there, he would already be out there swinging around town to find the Vulture. Now, with a free ticket out the of the house, there's no way Spider-Man isn't going to make an appearance. Oh, not to mention the fact that Jameson is paying for pictures of Spider-Man, and Mary Jane should realize this.

Then again, her allowing Peter to work might also encompass the whole Spider-Man thing, so maybe it's all all right after all.

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Mary Jane Moneygrubber

"That's my wife! Yes, her greed overrules any sort of concern for my well-being, to the point where she can somehow hear anyone mention money. Yes, that's my wife."

If Mary Jane is so keen on money, why did she marry Peter, whose income is minimal? Furthermore, why did she quit the play? These are questions no one will ever answer.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Maria Lopez, Scourge of Newsmen

Maria Lopez poses such a threat that she is no longer lumped into the Internet or the television, she is her own entity. Also, if the Daily Bugle is only being kept out of ruin by Peter Parker's pictures, then there is something dreadfully wrong with the way it's being run. I do like how Jameson counters Peter's claim of having the flu by saying that his newspaper is also ailing. That's kind of clever.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Wacky Shenanigans

Jameson wants pictures of the empty television set, obviously. Either that, or he's going to send Peter to take pictures of Spider-Man's appearance on the Maria Lopez show, only for not-so-wacky shenanigans to ensue. Mary Jane is looking sick in panel two, as well.

Monday, June 02, 2008

Weird Mouth

Peter has a weird mouth in panel three. That is all I have to say about today.

Sunday, June 01, 2008


The Vulture is going to do something to Maria Lopez which will require Mary Jane to release Spider-Man from his promise. Spider-Man will get his butt kicked, but will save Maria Lopez. This will lead to a confidence boost for the Vulture, Maria Lopez being sad that Spider-Man failed, and Jonah Jameson reveling in that very same fact. The Vulture will then go on a crime spree, which will only end once Spider-Man is feeling better. He will then fight the Vulture, restoring Maria Lopez's faith in him and making Jonah look silly.

Also, I like the little Hulk cameo. That's nice.