16 years ago
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Vulture: Menace to Language
Argh, it's even worse when the Vulture is using stupid bits of slang! The man is butchering every bit of the English language he can get his beak around, and these people are shouting for Spider-Man to save them. Screw Spider-Man, people, he's sleeping at home in bed. We need Curtis Langsley, Action Librarian. He'd catalog the Vulture right back into jail, he would.
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Oh my God, oh my God, rich people have lost a few baubles! How could Spider-Man have let this happen? He's supposed to be on call 24 hours a day to prevent every single crime in New York City! Can we sue him for superhero malpractice?
I realize that Stan Lee is trying to build some tension over the whole Spidey-has-the-flu issue, but c'mon.
But that's why the rich people were on the roof in the first place -- so Spidey could hear their cries and appear their instantaneously if a man dressed as a giant macaw* swooped down and dropped a guy eight feet while swiping their enormous ruby necklaces!
How dare he have the flu? Who else is supposed to solve crimes on top of skyscrapers? The Land Captain?
(As a side note, I'm surprised there hasn't been a lame shout-out to the Iron Man movie, like they did when Ghost Rider was slouching its way into theaters.)
* Vultures are not green.
Blackie is no Adrian Toomes, that's for sure.
I'd find it extremely satisfying if Adrian popped out and tore Blackie a new one.
"OH NOOOOEEESSSSSZZZZZ!!!!! HE STOLE OUR GOODS!!!!" Buy new ones, you're all RICH!!
It's all about the BEAUTIFUL BLING baby!
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