Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Television Rots the Mind

Always with the stinking television. I wish his television set would just explode so he'd actually have to look for crimes to stop. I mean, right now, yes. This is about the only acceptable reason Spider-Man should be watching television: because he has the flu. Yet I can't appreciate that because he's always watching the stinking television. Now he's going to go out as Spider-Man despite his promise, all while trying to be back before Mary Jane comes home.

This will not work.

Even if he makes it back home before she does, it will not work.

You know why?

BECAUSE HE IS SPIDER-MAN.

SPIDER-MAN IS A PUBLIC FIGURE, AND HIS FIGHT WITH THE VULTURE WILL BE ALL OVER THE NEWS.

You know the best part? The very best part? If they go that route, then we'll have the next five months consisting of about two hours in strip. You just can't win with this strip. You just can't win.

3 comments:

jvwalt said...

And again... why should Spider-Man be compelled to leave his sickbed because a bunch of rich old farts lost some of their bling? If the fate of the entire city were at stake, I could understand the urgency. In this case, Peter should be lying back and saying, "Oh, well, if that's all the Vulture is planning to do, the cops can handle it."

On a more positive note, I love the Vulture's little leather swag bag. What, did he misplace his cloth bag with "LOOT" printed on the side?

dlauthor said...

Tragically, while trying to make his getaway, the Vulture collided with NewsChopper 5, which was filming the incident because ... um ... because there were rich people partying, so we thought they'd get some footage. Tonight, we at the Channel 5 News Team are mourning the loss of Eye-in-the-Sky reporter Arnie Pye and his crew.

In other news, Spider-Man reportedly rained vomit and explosive diarrhea all over unsuspecting pedestrians tonight before losing consciousness and plummeting to the sidewalk.

Anonymous said...

I wonder how Spider man will choose to get around that problem - bear in mind his phrasing to MJ when he said Spiderman wouldn't take on the vulture. Will we see Captain Tarantula - a completely new superhero with the same powers and costume as spiderman, but with a crude construction-paper T on his chest? Or will we see Peter in Mary Jane's Marvella costume.