Format-O-Rama

1) So the plot, thus as it is, thickens. I enjoy how we went from someone trying to buy the Bugle through nefarious means to someone trying to steal Mary Jane through nefarious means. Does anyone but Spider-Man remember the Bugle at this point? And what about Jimmy Godero? Where the heck did he go?

2) Technically, he's hired to strong-arm people into doing things. Of course, he could be Simon's general hired goon and driving the car is part of the package.

3) I wonder if the people Simon hired ever got suspicious when Spider-Man would then proceed to not leave the apartment for extended periods, or when Peter exited the apartment at some point after Spider-Man entered without Peter having been seen entering the apartment or Spider-Man having been seen leaving the apartment. All in all, Peter "Pieces" Parker did a shoddy job of protecting his secret identity.

Simon Krandis: Catch of the Day

Simon Krandis makes the typical mistake of assuming that just because a woman is (seemingly) cheating on her husband with a superhero, she'll marry a disgusting sleazy businessman and potential governor. Which is an honest mistake that is made all the time, I would think. Still, look at him... he's chubby, pasty, old, sleazy, disgusting, amoral, and most likely a womanizer. He is what they refer to as a "catch".

God, I hope this storyline ends soon.

Simon Krandis: Possessor of Gumption

Say what you will about Simon Krandis, but the man has gumption. After all, he just kidnapped another guy's wife and is trying to convince her to divorce the other guy and marry him. Not only that, but he's playing the "next governor" card. I'm not sure, but is this the first we've heard of Simon Krandis's political aspirations?

Also, we might get to find out if Spider-Man is Spider-Bits or not pretty soon. Hooray.

Mary Jane: More Competent Than Her Husband

You know, Mary Jane has faced down both the Persuader and Simon Krandis in the past and come out of it unscathed. On the other hand, her husband (who is a super-hero) has gotten his head handed to him a number of times. In fact, Mary Jane faced down Spider-Man as well. This means that Mary Jane is a far more competent character than her husband, a fact which should come as a surprise to no one.

Oh, and Mister Stan Lee? Could we maybe find out how Spider-Man survived a close-quarters explosion pretty soon? Ah, and where Jimmy Godero got to? If we could do that soon, it would be much appreciated. (Notice how I acted like Stan Lee actually reads this thing. I know darn well that he doesn't, and so that counts as being whimsical or something.)

Simon Krandis: BAD-ASS

Simon Krandis is a bad-ass!

How much of a bad-ass is he?

He's such a bad-ass that he ASSAULTS WOMEN!

Seriously, Mary Jane: RESTRAINING ORDER. Oh wait, I bet she's going to press her Spider-Summoner bracelet and Spider-Man, though wounded, will valiantly come to her rescue. Also: what happened to Jimmy Godero?

Note: I do not actually think that assaulting women makes you a bad-ass. In my opinion, it pretty much just makes you an ass.

The Fate of Spider-Man... Er, Still not yet.

All this does is let us know that the Persuader is there, too. Oh, and it kind of hints that maybe they know Peter Parker and Spider-Man are one and the same. Either that, or Spider-Man's explosion is just a bizarre coincidence that would work in Simon Krandis's favor.

Oh, and I hope we never see Simon Krandis smile like in panel three again. That's creepy.

Also, some people are working on a fan-animated (fanimated?) Spider-Man series. They need a bit of help, though, so click here for some more information.

The Fate of Spi... er, Not Yet

Ah, I see that Stan Lee is trying to go for a bit of suspense by denying us the (most likely non-deadly) fate of Spider-Man. I've been doing some thinking on the whole investigating Krandis thing, and I had some thoughts. Instead of going all espionage or investigative about it, Peter could employ the help of his wife, shown above to already have Simon Krandis wrapped around her finger without doing a blasted thing. If she went to dinner with him, he would surely spill the beans on his dirty dealings. Mary Jane could bring a tape recorder or something, and get the whole thing on tape, then she could deliver the man's witless confession to her husband who could then deliver it to Jameson and the police, therefore ending all of this in one swift go.

Oh, and I've had to wait for people to come out of plays before. There is no way the first and second panels can be subsequent thoughts, because it takes people a heck of a long time to get out of their dressing rooms. Add to this the fact that every play I've been to has had a meet-and-greet afterwards, and we're looking at a good forty-five minutes to a half hour between the first and second panels. You can't tell me Mary Jane would skip the meet-and-greet, either: panel one clearly illustrates she's in this for the recognition.

The Death of Spider-Man?

Part of me wants to rant about how Spider-Man's spider-sense failed to pick up on the imminent explosion. He doesn't have the tranquilizer to blame this time, after all. Another part of me is just wondering if Spider-Man is all right. I'm guessing he is, due to the lack of spider-sense and whatnot (the money made from the strip), but there's always a slim chance tomorrow's comic will be Spider-Man lying dead in the street. Which I really hope isn't the case.

Potentially Robots!

It's a good thing that's a fake arm, otherwise Spider-Man would have torn it clean out of the shooter's socket and there would be blood everywhere. What were you thinking, Spidey? On the other hand, my comments yesterday about padding do not apply if the padding has anything to do with robots. Some good old robot action would enhance my enjoyment of this about a thousand percent.

Peter's Options

I have no idea how the policy on business deals go, but couldn't Peter Parker theoretically order some reports or something about Krandis's company? I mean, if it's a company with stockholders, they have to have some sort of public report, and perhaps some information could be gleaned from them. Heck, I'm sure the Daily Bugle's business section (not to mention countless other papers) probably have a business section which could help out with minor articles about Krandis's various acquisitions. There's so many ways Peter could go about this (without the aid of his web-slinging alter ego, no less) that he has no business whining about how he can't get anything done.

As for the gunfire, that had better had something to do with Jimmy Godero or the Persuader. If it's just padding, I swear that I will take measures.

Plea

This whole thing is going around in circles, honestly. Please let it end soon. I'm sure the fact that Simon Krandis comes to Mary Jane's play nightly will come into play later, though, after evidence has been found.

Spider-Man'll Do It Every Time (UPDATE!)

I pretty much hate these Monday comics. Usually, they just reiterate Sunday, and that's what we're getting here. Except now Peter's at home, and he chose to wait until he got the paper to complain to Mary Jane about Jameson's theories. Ah, but we learn that Mary Jane is off to the theater! Will Peter's innocent "break a leg" comment be prophetic? Most likely not.

However, I do like Peter's opening phrase. It reminds me of the recently departed "They'll Do It Every Time" by Al Scaduto.

UPDATE: Spider-Man had a "Bizarro" cameo:
Maybe next time he'll think twice before trading his happy marriage to the devil in exchange for his dying aunt.

Oh, and don't forget to check out the message board!

The Return of Formatting

1) While Jameson is probably holding up two fingers to illustrate the number two, it also looks as if he might be flashing the peace sign to someone 0ff-screen, perhaps some sort of hippie or beatnik.
2) There's not much to say about panel two.
3) I have never heard anyone say this, and have no idea why someone would doubt its veracity. There's no reason to think that paranoids would not have enemies, and presumably they'd have a lot more, if only in their head.
4) This is the most realistic Jameson/Peter panel in this storyline. Peter's facial expression is priceless.
5) This panel merely reminded me of "Pinky and the Brain", and made me wonder where Jimmy Godero went.
6) If I were Mary Jane, I would get a restraining order against this guy as soon as possible.

Don't forget to check out the message board!

Message Board! (Also: Late)

We've had a message board for a while, but now it's actually... well, better, I guess. Go take a look and have discussions that you just can't have in the comments thread of a post. You'll still be able to do that, though.

In that spirit, comment on this post here!
I will admit that this is just a thinly-veiled attempt to get you on the message board. I'm pretty shameless sometimes, but at least I'm not asking for money.

Ah, King Features Syndicate, which sends out the Amazing Spider-Man, is not working for some reason. I have to wait until it is working to post, which could be whenever (but hopefully it'll work soon).

Spider-Mongol

As we all know, Spider-Man learned about Godero by Googling Krandis. Not only that, but there's an eye-witness account of the fact that Krandis and Spider-Man are not in cahoots: Mary Jane. Oh, and the Persuader. And Jimmy Godero. The King of the Newspaper Jockies, too. Ah, and that nameless thug who was helping the Persuader blow up Daily Bugle trucks. In fact, Jameson is probably the only person in the entire world who could come to the conclusion that Spider-Man and Krandis are linked, but as Peter says, Jameson would link Spider-Man to Genghis Khan if he could...

Hey Jameson! Genghis Khan was always trying to get through the Great Wall of China! Spider-Man is the wall-crawler! Maybe a cult dedicated to Genghis Khan financed an experiment to create wall-crawling warriors to invade China, therefore bringing glory and power to the legacy of Gengis Khan, and Spider-Man is an escaped prototype?

Now Jameson doesn't have to.

Happy-Go-Lucky

I'm surprised Jonah isn't getting suspicious of the fact that, while he hired Peter to get dirt on Krandis, Spider-Man seems to be the one doing all the legwork. You know what would be really nifty? If Daredevil showed up and offered to help out in his Matt Murdock identity, taking down Krandis though legal means. By that, I mean digging up dirty court cases and whatnot. That won't happen, though.

Also surprising is Jameson's giddiness, considering that Krandis is after his livelihood. You'd think concern at losing the Bugle would override his dislike of Spider-Man.

Time in a Bucket

It's nice that Peter managed to get to his wife's second performance. After the first one... on New Year's Eve... wait a second. They randomly acknowledge holidays in this strip. We got one for New Year's Eve, and the last one we got was last Valentine's Day. Due to the nature of the narrative, with no "Days Later" or whatever, only about two weeks have passed since Valentine's Day. These people have the shortest year ever.

Confirmation

First off, thanks to Stan Lee for confirming what I theorized two days ago. Second, why is Spider-Man's spider-sense going off now? Is it a delayed reaction, or are they actually in some sort of danger? Not to mention the fact that, if they wanted to, Godero and the Persuader could have permanently taken out Spider-Man and the two guards before merrily skipping away. Perhaps they wanted to enjoy their new friendship in other ways, though.

Off to the See the Krandis

Okay, whatever. I do like Jimmy Godero and the Persuader skipping off down the road in panel three, arm in arm. This had better end in Jimmy Godero slicing Krandis's throat, though. My god.

POLLS: The Winner is...

My, but this was a close one. Ending with forty-four votes, we have the Shocker coming in second with twenty-two votes. Spider-Man... wait, what? Let's take a look at this poll before we continue:
I'm not entirely sure how that works out. In any case, Spider-Man wins by one vote. Congratulations, Spider-Man! You may not be an elephant, but you're the favorite character, apparently! Here's the end results:

1) Spider-Man
2) The Shocker
3) Land Captain
4) Jonah Jameson
5) Weasel

Then everyone else gets honorable mention. Thanks for voting, everyone. We may do this again next year... er, later this year.

He's Got the Touch... HE'S GOT THE POWER!

Spider-Man's spider-sense's inability to notice that someone was about to hit him in the head with a lead pipe can probably be attributed to the fact that the tranquilizer slowed down his reflexes, and therefore, his spider-sense. As for Jimmy Godero, well, he just knocked out the only guy who is both awake and on his side. Does he not remember that the Persuader just tried to gas him to death in an elaborate scheme? If he lives throughout the week, then... then I will do something, you bet. Chances are that he'll persuade the Persuader to let him live so they can go after Simon Krandis together, though.

As for the lead pipe, I'll simply assume that Jimmy found it lying on the ground somewhere. He's obviously not smart enough to smuggle one onto his person.

This is also the longest I've gone without missing an update in quite a while. So hooray for that.

Spider-Man: NOT AN ELEPHANT

Several days ago, I was convinced that this was the most wonderful strip ever. This assumption would prove to be quite wrong. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you today's strip:
The science, of course, is dubious, though there's a chance Spider-Man could overcome being shot with a tranquilizer gun after breathing a bunch of gas. This is also one of the most, if not the most, visually exciting strips that has been on this blog. All of that is secondary to what has got to be the greatest panel ever seen anywhere:


I assure you that this comic strip has not been altered in any way. Here it is on the Houston Chronicle's page. I cannot say how long that link will work, however. I can assure you that Spider-Man is not an elephant, however. I know this because he told me so. You heard it here first, folks.

Now with Format!

I'm going to have to start doing these by panels, otherwise everything will get all discombobulated and, as a seemingly note-worthy blogger, I can't have that.
1) Spider-Man just looks so darn arrogant in this panel, and his dialog backs up the fact that he's just sort of messing with the Persuader. Meanwhile, the Persuader has become some sort of hideous man-beast.

2) In this comic strip, Spider-Man does not have a spider-sense. He has a plot-sensitive spider-sense, which only kicks in (or neglects to) when the plot demands it. This allows it to kick in when he's looking for someone, and not kick in when someone is pointing a tranquilizer gun at his neck.

This is sad, as I was hoping that we would be almost done with this storyline by now, and then the Persuader does this. After all, if we look at the strip's record, we get a super-villain next time. I hope to god we get a super-villain next time...

Second chances, no! Third chances and more? Yes!

I've no idea when the heck Spider-Man put everyone down, or where Jimmy Gordero happened to land (as I'm reasonably certain Spider-Man just tossed them off with little thought as to their personal well-being), but the speed at which he may have done so suggests he could have easily done so at any time. Spider-Man is also trying to regain his quipping ability, but he's not doing so well. Oh, and the second chances thing? Not so effective when you're talking to a guy that's escaped from you once and made a fool of your alter-ego as well.

On another note, I think that cop by Spider-Man's elbow might be dead. I think his neck might be broken. Nice job, Spider-Man.

Spider-Jump

So was it sleeping gas or poison gas? Is the Persuader using colorful innuendos for "kill"? Who knows? In any case, Spider-Man has leaped, as I said he should. Good for him. Now, the question is whether or not everyone is going to get taken out by a speeding truck. They are fighting in the street, after all.

Spider-Mule

I think we're to assume that Spider-Man just punched through both vehicles at once. While Spider-Man is probably able to do such a thing, I doubt the initial hole would be that big. More likely, Spider-Man would punch a moderate size hole, and then use his super-strength to tear off a hunk of the vehicles.

I like how Spider-Man decided to carry all three men out at once. He probably could have left one of them in there for a few seconds, since most of the gas would be able to escape through the giant hole in the side of the truck. However, then we wouldn't get this moment of suspense, would we? Yes, it's not like Spider-Man has the proportionate agility of a spider or anything that would allow him to do a quick leap to the left and put everyone down. In fact, he could probably take out the Persuader at this point with one well-aimed kick.

Then again, the Persuader's slightly nonsensical quip is about a hundred times better than anything Spider-Man has said since I started this Blog, so I guess I should give all the problems I mentioned a pass... for now.

Spider-Sense Replaced Common Sense

I guess it is some kind of poison gas. That's a remarkably sound idea from Krandis. I still don't get today's comic. Spider-Man takes the time to web up the grate, and then put everything he's got into one blow. By the time he's webbed up the grate (which would take only a minute or so, most likely) he would most likely be debilitated by the gas, and everything he had would be distinctly lower by that point. Whereas he could have just punched the side of the van in the first place, theoretically having more strength and a better chance of breaking through. It's just nonsensical.

Not to mention the fact that he could have actually just opened one of the doors. Or, failing that, torn one of the doors off its hinges. Surely that would take less effort than punching through the side of van. I wonder what he'll do when he figures out that he just punched through to the inside of the big rig and poison is still coming in, only in a greater quantity, and he's no less stuck than he was before punching a hole in the side of the van.

The Most Wonderful Strip Ever

I love this particular strip. If Stan Lee came to me and asked me for anything, I would probably ask for something really good, but if it was limited to a print from this comic, it would be this strip. I shall list why:
1) Jimmy, Spider-Man, and the guard are all huddled together as if that would help.
2) The guard has his gun out for no apparent reason.
3) The noise the gas is making
4) Spider-Man's exclamation (GAS!)
5) The fact that the Persuader suddenly knows that Spider-Man is in the van, despite the fact that we've not had any inkling that the Persuader even suspected such a thing.

So absurd and wonderful. This isn't even mentioning the fact that Jimmy Godero is once again unbound with a head full of hair. Ah, and we all know that the gas will just be knockout gas. Poison gas would be a far too easy way to end Krandis's problems.

Polls: Land Captain ELIMINATED!

Ending with twenty-nine votes, the penultimate round of the Favorite Character poll ends. Spider-Man is in the lead with thirteen votes, and the Shocker came in second with eleven. Land Captain, poor guy, loses with five. Perhaps it's better this way, though, as now a character who actually exists can win the poll. As always, you've got until next Sunday.

Mentioned!

Frequent reader Natalie pointed out that the Amazing Spider-Blog was mentioned in this article. Absolutely no one is more surprised than me at this, but that does not really diminish the fact that I am grateful for this. I feel like I've hit the big-time, now!

Gassed.

All right, if this is anything like a movie serial, the gas is going to put everyone to sleep and then the Persuader is going to try to make the truck go off a cliff or something because everything back then had to be really freaking complicated. Of course, since the super-hero of the serial (supposedly Spider-Man) is inside the gassed van, it might go a bit better for the villains this time. Namely, the target and the hero will both be mashed up in a heap at the bottom of a cliff. Unless another hero turns up or something.

Trapped and Finished? OH NO!

That guard wants to shoot Spider-Man so badly. He's probably thinking, "No good vigilante, getting us into some sort of super-science big rig. I bet fancy spider powers won't stop a bullet!" Also, Spider-Man's starting to panic. He's replying to everyone with really lame (well, lamer than normal) quips.

Add to this that this prison van is the only one where the prisoner is placed into the back unbound with nothing between him and the driver, and you realize that even though Spider-Man has displayed little competence, he's still more competent than the NYPD. That, readers, is a scary though.

Let the Good Times Roll...?

Well, it looks like I'll be doing this blog for a bit longer. Not only is Spider-Man's spider-sense being incredibly obvious here (unless it's Mary Jane contacting him), but Spider-Man himself is being sort of scary. He's really looking forward to fighting the Persuader, I guess. Jimmy Godero and guard #2 look frightened, as well. Let's hope Spider-Man doesn't warm up on them.

Our first Spider-Cameo of the new year. Let me fill in the third panel: "Lookit here, Spider-Man's making a deal with the devil!"