Weak Against Virus

Viruses have been known to way-lay the wall-crawler, so this is actually pretty accurate. This does not excuse Mary Jane's lame joke, however.

Spider-Ill (Updated)

So quickly does Spider-Man forget his promise to his wife. Luckily, he is swiftly punished by the great Narrator, who decrees that for his folly, Peter shall suffer illness! Lo, see justice done!

Also, a sort of Spider-Cameo in today's "Free Range":No more Brand New Days for him.

Vulture TV

All right, I'm going to have to say that Peter Parker should get out of the house a heck of a lot more. Yes, being told that super-villains are amok through television makes sense for the narrative of the comic strip, but it's painting Peter as one lazy guy. What happened to the Spider-Man who used to swing about the city, occasionally fighting a roaming super-villain? That is the man I want to see in this comic strip. I want him to be out on the street, one of the first to find out. Today's example is by far the worse, because the Vulture has probably been on the loose for six hours already and Peter is just now finding this out. My goodness.

As for the news itself, I must say that the Vulture's escape was not amazing in the least. This is not because of the slap-dash approach to planning it. No, I can accept that. Super-villains generally think only one or two steps ahead, which is why Electro robs banks. No, the reason this is not amazing is because he is, in fact, the Vulture. As such, one should expect a man like that to be able to build a flying machine and use it for the purpose of escaping prison. A much better adjective would be "daring". It would have been amazing if the Vulture had instead rigged up some sort of electromagnetic pulse emitter and used it to disable the security systems, allowing him to escape. Saying someone is amazing for doing something they do all the time is redundant.

High Flying Vulture

After a bit of a false start, the Vulture is shaping up to be one of the better villains we've seen so far. I'm basing this solely on the fact that he's smart enough to ditch a henchman who is obviously a loser, and was smart enough to get the heck away from the prison as soon as possible. The only other thing is that Peter should really know not to say stuff like that. He jinxes any chances he ever has of things going right by saying stuff like that.

As for the Next box: It would really stink for the Vulture if his entire appearance was during a storm. I mean, it couldn't be comfortable or safe to fly in that costume during a storm. Poor guy.

Lefty Left Behind

The Vulture has, in a mere week, done more good for this strip than Spider-Man ever could. Hopefully, this is the last we see of Lefty and he was just here to show us what a jerk the Vulture is. Which, really, is the best use of a henchman I could think of.

Lefty: Not Left Behind

Huh. I was hoping the Vulture would leave Lefty behind, as he's probably going to be quite annoying. We'll have to wait and see how he stacks up with the other henchmen we've seen in the strip.

Drago's Cunning Escape

I've no problem with the actions of Drago (apparently he has technical aptitude), but the guard has got to be the most idiotic guard in the history of this strip. As you can clearly see, the cell's door is a bunch of bars. This means that it keeps the inmates in, but lets you see inside the cell as well. You should be able to see what's going on in there without opening the door. Yet this is what the guard does, thereby freeing Drago and causing the guard to have a tremendous seizure which knocks off his hat.

I can only think that Drago was doing something in his cell, or faking something, that enabled him to hide his wings and cause some alarm in the guard. After all, he couldn't have put on the wings in the time it took the guard to open the door. Maybe he pretended to hang himself or something.

Drago and Lefty

Wait, so we've got a costumed super-villain with a lame henchman? Drago had better leave Lefty in jail, otherwise he's really no better than Simon Krandis or Kurt Kordok. Do you really want the Shocker to outclass you, Blackie Drago? Is that what you really want?

Drago Drags On

All right, a quick look at Wikipedia tells me that Blackie Drago just stole his Vulture gear from Adrian Toomes, who is the real Vulture. In this case, it would seem that Drago has some technical aptitude and just needs some other random thug to steal him some stuff so Drago can make a new "magnetic device."

Also, I like how Drago's lackey is whispering but Drago pretty much shouts out "Excellent", proving that Drago has the common sense of a turkey. Ah, and that Earth Day message is wonderful. Yes it is.

The Vulture: Blackie Drago

Ah. Well, it looks like I was right on the money when I said it looked like Blackie Drago. Now, I've never seen Blackie Drago in action so this should be an interesting experience.

Not Toomes

It's good to see Peter taking care of his significant other. It really is, I'm being serious. However, it seems that we're not getting the Adrian Toomes Vulture. It looks more like Blackie Drago, maybe. I hope this gets cleared up soon.

Vulture-Less

Remember last Sunday, when the "NEXT" box said "The Wings of the Vulture"? How we were expecting the Vulture to make an appearance at some point this week, considering that NEXT box? You do? That's good. Stan Lee sure didn't.

Short.

1) Again, at least they're releasing the movie.
2) Peter is actually trying to be supportive. My god.

Mary Jane Bombed

As mentioned in yesterday's comments, the fact that her movie is headlining the Hollywood Eye means a lot. Besides, at least it's getting released which means that the studio thinks it'll be able to make some money. Also, how does Peter know how she was in the movie? He wasn't there, deigning to mope around Los Angeles and getting into shenanigans instead of following his wife to her movie shoot.

I do like Peter's determined look, and that little exclamation point. I like it because he intends to do something about this, but I am at a lost to know what. Oh, what if the Vulture is behind all of this? We haven't seen him at all this week, and we've only two days until the next 'NEXT' box. He should be showing up soon.

Mary Jane: Not a Star

I think they may have hit a snag when they had Mary Jane Parker headline the movie. After all, this is her first film and putting all the attention on an unknown is an unwise thing to do in Hollywood. MJ shouldn't be sad, though, she can have a rich, full life starring in Full Moon movies and Sci-Fi Channel originals.

Choose Your Own Blogventure: New Cast Member

If you've been following this Blog for a while, then the new cast member of "Choose Your Own Blogventure" might be of interest to you. If you haven't been following this blog, you should still check out "Choose Your Own Blogventure." Please?

Of Secret Identities

Peter: I just got off the phone with Stan Lee. Apparently Marvel wants this strip to mesh with the comic books, and it turns out the Vulture won't be the next villain, after all. Instead, we have to make a deal with the devil and retcon our marriage out of existence. They also mentioned something about Aunt May not dying, but I didn't even know she was sick. Oh, and my secret identity is safe from the, oh, five people who know it in this strip.

MJ: ...

Peter: I hate Joe Quesada.
-
On another note which will be of interest to everybody and not just people who are aware of the Spider-Man comic book's current status quo, the usefulness of Spider-Man's secret identity in this strip had become nonexistent. Let's look at the facts:

-Spider-Man has a secret identity to protect his loved ones (Mary Jane)
-Mary Jane and Spider-Man are now publicly known to be pals, and maybe a bit more.
-Villains who want to attack Spider-Man, but were unaware of how to get at him seeing as how they did not know his secret identity, will now attack Mary Jane to get at Spider-Man.

The Parkers really screwed the pooch on this one.

The Fate of Jimmy Godero

In all honesty, I did not expect to ever see Jimmy Godero again. Now we know that was somewhere around the mansion and is heading back to prison. It's nice to know that some attention is being given to loose ends.

Promises of the Vulture

Notable things about this strip:
1) Peter and Mary Jane don't care about the secret identity thing.
2) We're moving right along into the next storyline, featuring the Vulture. It should be the real Vulture, too, and not some thug in a suit.

Nearing the End

All we need to do now is see what Jonah has to say about this, and we're done with this storyline. Which means there should be an actual super-villain coming up pretty soon, thank god. Hopefully it'll also mean that Spider-Man won't be spouting off Hitchhiker-like platitudes. He's supposed to a quipster, after all, not a philosopher.


Ah, and here's a lame sort of Spider-Man reference:Just not that impressed with it. Your mileage may vary.

Crime Finally Tries to Pay

On Sunday, we were pretty much told this was going to happen. That was the right decision, in a way, since we had no clue that we would learn the supposed truth about the Persuader. Also, there's really nothing for Simon to worry about. If he goes to prison (a man with that much money and a freaking cave should have some good lawyers), then it'll no doubt be one of those white collar prisons. There's no way they'd toss him in the super-criminal prison, or even the normal criminal prison. Besides, I think there's some legal loophole that says that attempted murder of a superhero is a low-level crime.

Also: I find it delightful that Mary Jane, who supposedly knows of her husband's spider-sense, feels the need to let him know that Simon might be pulling a gun. No doubt she's been reading this strip and knows how unreliable the spider-sense truly is.

Spider-Man Burns Simon Krandis

Panel two, with Simon's excessive stuttering, promotes the theory that he's making this up as he goes along. Panel three made me laugh. It made me laugh a lot, actually, because of Spider-Man's sarcasm. If there was any justice, tomorrow's comic would be Simon getting all flustered and Mary Jane smacking Spider-Man in the back of the head for being so callous. In any case, Spider-Man totally burned Simon Krandis, and I think that's as super-heroic a victory as we're going to get.

The Persuader: Joseph Krandis!

Hannerz got it closest, hypothesizing that the Simon Krandis was the Persuader's father. Good job.Anyway, now that Simon Krandis is suddenly remorseful that his brother (whom he was paying to be a thug, no less) is dead, he'll go along somewhat quietly. I'm sure the rest of the week will either feature the aftermath of Simon's confession and capture, or he'll prattle on about his mother and father wanting a better life or something. The only thing I'm confused about is why the Persuader (or Joseph Krandis, if you like) called his brother "Krandis" so often instead of Simon. Perhaps he had amnesia or something. We'll find out tomorrow, I guess.

Also: have you chosen your own blogventure?

Choose Your Own Blogventure

Choose Your Own Blogventure is now live. It's my new Blog (which will not replace this one) where you vote on where the story goes. There's more information over there, if you want it.

The Truth About the Persuader?!

Blah blah blah, recap recap recap, truth about the Persuader... wait, what? The truth about the Persuader? So he isn't just some thug with a shoddy nickname who sacrificed himself for Mary Jane? Against all odds, I'm kind of interested, though I know it will prove to be boring and rather redundant. Still, might be good for something.

Also: They should move that body pretty soon, I think.

Krandis: Consigned to his Fate

Simon Krandis is awfully resigned to his fate. I'd expect him to flail a bit, maybe throw a punch. Yes, it would be futile, but it would something.

Also: An announcement! New blog from me coming soon! Details here, if you want them!

Krandis the Escape Artist

04/05:Krandis could have pulled out that gun at any point while Spider-Man was gawking at the Persuader and shot him at close range. Instead, he waits until Spider-Man is done gawking and tries to escape BEFORE pulling out the gun. Heck, a smart thing to do (at least short-term) would be to shoot Mary Jane in the leg or some non-vital part so Spider-Man would have to save her, first, before going after Krandis. It'd all be moot in the end, though, since he would then be guilty of a myriad of crimes and would be on the run from a ticked-off Spider-Man.

04/06:Spider-Man is engaging is stupid platitudes now, and I can't think of who he sounds like. Not Mary Worth... oh wait. He sounds like the Hitchhiker, from the defunct HBO show of the same name. It's uncanny how similar Spider-Man's dialog from panels 4-6 sound like something the Hitchhiker would say. Also, note at this point that we've pretty much forgotten all about the Persuader. Poor guy. Now all we've got to look forward to is Krandis trying to bribe Spider-Man (conjectured from the NEXT box) and the in-strip wrap-up. I, for one, am glad this whole stupid storyline is drawing to a close.

The Persuader: Now Actually Dead

Huh. So the Persuader wasn't dead yet. He could have spoken up and maybe someone could have done something for him. If not save his life, then at least get him a pillow or something. Spider-Man just had to get the last word in, though.

Also, Simon Krandis has the right idea. He just should have put it into effect when Spider-Man and Mary Jane were first distracted by the Persuader, not when they're done with him.

Ah, and Spider-Man had another cameo yesterday:Won't little Jeffy be surprised when he learns that Spider-Man makes deals with the devil?

The Persuader: Still Dead

04/02:Spider-Man utilizes his exploitation power in the first panel. He has the proportionate expository ability of a spider! Meanwhile, Mary Jane is in shock that the Persuader killed himself for her. Simon Krandis is, most likely, making a quick escape while Spider-Man stares dumbly at his wife who, in turn, is staring in shock at the Persuader's body.

04/03:Spider-Man artfully ignores the dead body and asks his wife if she's all right. Truth be told, Spider-Man is probably in shock (pun not intended) and doesn't know how to handle this situation. He obviously wants to ignore the Persuader's lifeless body for as long as he can, but can't really comfort Mary Jane since she's all worked up about that same lifeless body. This will take about a week to resolve, I think, all while Mary Jane reiterates that the Persuader gave his life for hers and Spider-Man just sort of stands there. If Simon Krandis hasn't made it to Mexico by then, the man is a lot dumber than previously thought.

On a side note, I'm going to be very surprised if "Cleats" doesn't show up here at some point this week.

The Shocking End of the Persuader

I honestly wasn't expect this to happen this soon. Maybe Wednesday at the earliest.

Enough of That

Yep, that was my lame attempt at an April Fool's Day prank. At one point, I did have a Blog about BC but gave it up because it was too hard to come up with new ways of saying "This is not very good" every day. Now back to your regularly scheduled Spider-Nonsense.

DaVinci's Caveman

I can only guess that this is a reference to that one DaVinci thing. The one in this comic. Once again, a pretty decent sight gag, but underwhelming on the whole. But hey, at least it's got an anachronistic caveman! Who might be from the future, actually, but that's a story for another day.

Unfaithful Ants

I doubt we'd see anything like this during Hart's time on the strip. At least, not during the later years when he became all preachy.

John the Turtle: BESIEGED!!! Day Seven

I actually laughed a bit at this one, folks. I'm going to have to re-name this Blog to something whose initials are still BC but meaning pretty decent.

John the Turtle: BESIEGED!!! Day Six

This is a decent sight gag, right enough.

John the Turtle: BESIEGED!!! Day Five

I just noticed the little signature says "Mason" now, which probably accounts to this strip's upswing in quality. Let's see what it says about this Mason:
Mason Mastroianni is the man who is now drawing BC. He also happens to be Johnny Hart's grandson! Mason is 29 and an Emmy-winning animator, who left a position in Minneapolis to return to his hometown in upstate NY to sit in his grandfather's chair.

Yowza. I'm glad they're keeping it in the family. Let's see what else Mason has done... okay, he's only done like three things. Still, new blood is sometimes good.

John the Turtle: BESIEGED!!! Day Four

I cannot get enough of these turtle/spider shenanigans. Perhaps it's because I frequently watch "Ninja Turtles", even to this day (thanks to DVD). As for the spider thing... huh. No idea why I like spiders, actually. Just goes to show you, I guess.

John the Turtle: BESIEGED!!! Day Three

We enter into the third day of John the Turtle, besieged by a spider. I must say, after Mister Hart's death (may he rest in peace), this strip has really been on a bit of an upswing. It's actually sort of clever at points, and we haven't had many of those old stand-bys Hart had. So, in a way, Hart's death was the best thing to happen to this comic strip in a long time.