The Return of Loretta! ...oh, and Maria Lopez naked in a tub.

I'm willing to believe that Jameson's new blond assistant is actually Loretta the Slave-Woman, who has previously done her best to make Spider-Man's life miserable by alerting Mary Jane to the fact that another woman was posing as Spidey's wife, and playing masseuse to Simon Krandis. Here, she is attempting to further her no doubt nefarious plans by aiding Spider-Man's most prominent detractor, J. Jonah Jameson. Why are you doing this, Loretta, and when will it all end?

Also, my god, the last thing I was expecting to see today was Maria Lopez naked in a tub. Jameson would probably have a lot more to say than "!" if he knew.

TIL: Need you ask?

Loretta the Slave-Woman Returns

I was looking at today's strip, Spider-Buddies, and was taken off-guard by that blond woman! My, but is she easy on the eyes! However, my keen superhero instincts grabbed my brain and said, "There's something fishy going on here, Land Captain." So I jumped back to when Mary Jane was filming her movie, and I discovered my instincts hadn't steered me wrong. If my eyes don't deceive me, that woman is none other than Mary Jane's servant, Loretta the Slave-Woman! What nefarious plot does this woman have, and what does she have against the happy union of Mary Jane and Peter Parker? She'll bear a close watching, and I guess it falls to me to watch her being a superhero and all.

Oh, and Simon Krandis should put on a shirt. No one wants to see a shirtless flabby old man, I think, and it's a sight to turn even the strongest of stomachs.

Loretta the Sinister Slave-Woman

Loretta the Slave-Woman is looking more and more like Dara Dorset every day, and becoming infinitely more sinister to boot. She know something she's not letting on, and I'll bet anything her last name is "Dorset". We're on to you, Loretta. Watch your back.

Loretta the Slave-Woman

If Mary Jane believes Dara Dorset's claim, then Stan Lee is taking a bunch of liberties with the character's intelligence. However, we do get to find out that the slave-woman's name is Loretta. Perhaps she's in league with Dara Dorset, and this is some plot of theirs, or something. Why should she think Mary Jane cares about Spider-Man's wife?

Woman-Slave

Mary Jane's... woman-slave looks a lot like Dara Dorset. Probably won't go anywhere, but there might be a scam there. In any case, the thing on television will most likely be the Jameson/Dorset interview, in which case why would Mary Jane be interested in it? Has she proclaimed a love or healthy respect for Spider-Man during the movie shoot, leading the woman-slave to wake her in order to see an interview involving him? Only tomorrow will tell.

Also, is the woman-slave wearing a trench-coat? That's just weird. Is she planning on flashing Mary Jane or something?

Spider-Man's Temper Tantrum

Peter is throwing another hissy-fit. He has a lot of those. Perhaps I should start filtering them. Here's an idea: why not ask when she'll not be busy, or ask them to have her call you when she's done? Mary Jane obviously wants to talk to you, and though that blond is hardcore stereotyping men right there and planting doubts in MJ's mind, nothing will change that. Obviously, though, the interview tonight is only going to exacerbate matters. Chances are Lopez is going to steal a kiss from Spider-Man, Mary Jane will see, and everyone is going to be in a terrible mood. Poor Land Captain cannot help (see his blog for details on that) and we're not even going to mention Kurt Kordok who, if he is the Kingpin in disguise, will no doubt have about seventy plans laid out by now to ensnare Spider-Man.