The Big Announcement

This is, barring any unforeseen circumstances, the final post at the Amazing Spider-Blog. This is because I'm moving the whole she-bang over to a new site, the Meekrat Entertainment Group. The reason for this is simple, and is probably as succinct as "I am a psychopath", but I shall elaborate regardless.

As many of you know, I don't just do this blog. I also do the reader-interaction prose site Choose Your Own Blogventure, the web-comic PC/MS, and I always have three or four more projects floating around looking for a home and the time to do them. With all this, plus work and school, I get pretty frazzled. My solution was, as you can see, to put everything on one bloody site. When you go over there, you'll see how things will work, and I've worked diligently to make sure there are as few hiccups as possible.

What I'm saying is that, though this specific blog will be ended, but its content and spirit will have gone to the new site. No, I am not stopping commenting on the strip. Yes, there will be the new ones up every day as they have been for the past two years (give or take the odd hiatus). I do appreciate all your comments, however. Thank you kindly for them.

Hope to see you over there, and here's hoping the second two years of Amazing Spider-Blogging has fewer mishaps than the first two!

The End

Maria Lopez used to date Big-Time? That's what I'm getting from this, folks, and if this is the case then I am all for it. In fact, this turn of events makes me sort of regret that this blog won't be covering it. Not even two years into it, I know, but I've got a good reason for stopping the posts on this blog, which I will go into tomorrow for the final post on the Amazing Spider-Blog, in which much sadness will no doubt ensue as you are forced to find another way to read this strip without getting doused with stupid. See you tomorrow, folks.

EDIT: Early tomorrow. Not, like, seven at night. Pretty much as soon as the date rolls over, if it can be done.

Numbered List... Not really...

First, note how Maria doesn't answer Jonah's question. Second, note how she seems to not realize that Jameson is old. Well, quite a bit older than her, at least.

TIL: The cameo from the Addams Family's Thing in panel two.

On a meta note, in two days this site will have reached its second year. Hoorah!

Panel of the Week: Unsurprising Victor

It's time once again for the panel of the week! Last week, we didn't have much, I'm sorry to say. This week, we have several contenders for the dubious honor of being the panel of the week! Will it be the Spider-Man debut of television's Paul Shaffer?

(#4 - 10/09/2008)

Perhaps the beginning of Peter Parker's descent into madness?
(#3 - 10/06/2008)

Or another installment in Peter's shifting attitude towards that whole secret identity thing?
(#2 - 10/10/2008)

No. It is none of those. Instead, it's Maria Lopez, naked in a tub again.
(#1 - 10/05/2008)

Someone here is dropping the ball on the whole panel of the week thing, and it's either me or the people who draw this strip. I'm willing to pin this on them, really.

Freaking Lobster

It's freaking lobster, Jonah. I eat pretty much nothing and at a glacial pace, but in the face of lobster I eat so quickly I nearly choke on the blasted crustacean. Now, if she continues eating at a furious pace after the lobster is done, then you may have something to worry about. Look out, she may turn out to be some sort of flesh-eating monster. Besides, she's a tigress. You're a shark. If anything, you should be eating the lobster. (I am referring to this post, where I got really over-excited about the premise of a movie featuring a battle between a tiger and a shark.)

TIL: Maria's manic expression in panel one.

Late Show with Big-Time

I really hope that Big-Time is, somehow, the guest host. He does have an errand to run, after all, and he has television's Paul Shaffer. Also, why the heck does the Jameson-Lopez thing get three panels? Other than Mary Jane, who is doing pretty much squat, theirs is the storyline I care about least. At least show us what Aunt May has been up to. I've been doing this blog for... oh geez. Two years come Thursday, and we haven't seen Aunt May once.

TIL: The fact that Maria Lopez continues to make Jameson act all silly and stuff.

Land Captain's Not Too Happy

Well, Spider-Buddies, I was all set to yak about how Mike P must have seen the error of his ways and whatnot, but then this poll had to have the highest voter turnout for any poll that's ever been on this site, and any segment of Choose Your Own Blogventure, which I won't let up on since I've seen what you people are capable of. Forty-one votes, people. Forty-one.
The lovely Mary Jane won, as you can see. Good for her. Now she can put her clothes back on.

I'm not sure what to think of you people anymore, honestly. I guess Mike P was right, though, and showing scantily clad ladies brings in the traffic. Apologies to anyone out there who doesn't like that sort of thing, but since no one complained, I guess it's all right with all of you.

This week, though, I thought we'd steer away from the gratuitous hit-bringing and ask a somewhat serious question. What do we call this fellow:Suggestions so far have been:
Spider-Impersonator (it's his current tag)
Ant-Man (though I think this fellow, this fellow, and this fellow might all be a bit up-in-arms about that)
Pseudo-Spider (my personal favorite)

I know what you people are capable of now, so I expect a pretty decent turn-out. And again, show some of that poll-taking love to Choose Your Own Blogventure, please. Until next week, Spider-Buddies.

Blech

I have nothing to say about today's strip, except that it's not very funny and Jameson should really look into those convulsions he's having in the third panel.

TIL: It looks like Jameson already drank that bottle of wine.

Good Times

Remember that secret identity thing Spider-Man used to have? You know, before he climbed up a museum wall in his civilian clothes? Good times.

Seriously, though, you go on and on about secret identities and then you pull something like this. You're begging for your family to get shot, aren't you?

TIL: The fact that Peter's modus operandi for capturing the fake Spider-Man seems to be the same modus operandi he would use as Spider-Man.

Paul Shaffer

It would appear that Big-Time has television's Paul Shaffer in his little posse. Lord only knows what CBS and David Letterman will think of this development. I do like the attempt to insert a bit o' the ol' mystery into the strip, at least for a day or two. Who is Big-Time referring to? What is this errand? Does it involve a quart of milk and half a dozen eggs? Stay tuned to find out!

TIL: The ridiculously ornate thing the phone is hanging on.

Big-Time Delivers

Big-Time delivers by talking about the specific clock he wants stolen. However, a question arises: does he just have a collection of clocks, or is it a clock store or something? If it is just a collection, how the heck did he get all the money to buy the clocks? Or are they all stolen? I doubt we will find out.

TIL: Big-Time's vocabulary lesson.

Hey, Clock Exhibit! WE KNOW!

We've now spent two days establishing that, yes, there is a clock exhibit and that Peter thinks it's beneath his notice. Any time spent on this topic, without talking about capers involving said exhibit or actually being at that exhibit, will be time wasted. You hear that, Big-Time? TIME WASTED. I trust you'll do the right thing, my fiendish friend.

TIL: Big-Time appears to have a torso of the Pseudo-Spider on his wall.

Ramblin' Wanderin' Man

If only Peter knew what we knew: that his current mystery foe was in the employ of a clock-obsessed man named Big-Time. Then he'd know that this clock exhibit is probably the sort of thing to watch out for. Also, people probably think he's insane walking around and talking to himself like that. Since he's walking, people will only hear snippets of his monologue, rendering his secret identity safe, but the third panel? I imagine a disinterested man who is out walking his dog stopping suddenly as Peter bends over backwards and comments on promiscuous museums. That man with a dog is probably really confused. The only other explanation is that the fourth wall is being broken.

TIL: I like how they're setting up Big-Time to be a 60's Batman villain. I hope there's clock puns.

Panel of the Week 09/28/2008

There's really no point in me doing a countdown for this panel of the week, as there was really only one thing that could win once it showed up on the scene. This is because I'm shameless and recognize that Maria Lopez, naked in a tub, could potentially bring in more hits. Which is why many of the posts, from this point forward, will include the words "Maria Lopez naked in a tub". I need the hits, people. Well, here's the panel:Here's hoping next week has a good contender for the panel of the week, otherwise it'll be week two of Maria Lopez. Naked. In a tub.

Maria Lopez Naked in a Tub Redux

Well, we have a recap of the past few days of strips. This means that there's another day of Maria Lopez, naked in a tub. Jameson's expression in the last panel of the middle row is one which will haunt me for the rest of my days, I fear.

TIL: The unexpectedness of Maria Lopez.

The Return of Loretta! ...oh, and Maria Lopez naked in a tub.

I'm willing to believe that Jameson's new blond assistant is actually Loretta the Slave-Woman, who has previously done her best to make Spider-Man's life miserable by alerting Mary Jane to the fact that another woman was posing as Spidey's wife, and playing masseuse to Simon Krandis. Here, she is attempting to further her no doubt nefarious plans by aiding Spider-Man's most prominent detractor, J. Jonah Jameson. Why are you doing this, Loretta, and when will it all end?

Also, my god, the last thing I was expecting to see today was Maria Lopez naked in a tub. Jameson would probably have a lot more to say than "!" if he knew.

TIL: Need you ask?

Poll of the Week: Mary Jane Vs. Maria Lopez

Ahoy there, Spider-Buddies! I'm a bit busy what with doing a lot of super-heroics over at Choose Your Own Blogventure, but I've always got time to do the poll of the week here. Even if it's over a day late, like it was last week. Speaking of last week, let's see how that poll went?Everyone is okay with the site layout, which is pretty nifty. What should this week's poll be? Heh, too bad I can't put up a poll about that! If you have any ideas for future polls, though, please let me know! I know what you're all thinking. "Ol' Land Captain's going to do a poll about Maria Lopez being naked in a tub, isn't he?" Well, you don't know me as well as you think, because that's the last thing I'd do a poll about! I'm a gentleman, after all, and...

What's that?

I don't think...

I don't want to...

Mike P says he understands where I'm coming from, and that doing a poll about that is about the last thing he'd do, but sometimes you need that extra draw on the Internet to bring in the hits. So which of the strip's two most prominent ladies do you like more, Mary Jane...Or Maria Lopez...
This is positively shameful. Mike P knows full well that we have female readers, we've seen their comments and whatnot. I'm sure they won't enjoy this at all. What's that, Mike P? You do know? Well, what are you going to do about it?

You offer your apologies in advance. Well, that's swell. That's just swell. You know what? I hope you lose readers because of this, and I'm thinking of washing my hands of this whole poll of the week thing if you keep pulling shenanigans like this. Consider this strike one, Mike P. You're on notice.

Filled with Sass

Unless Mary Jane was somehow listening in on the conversation, she doesn't see. She does seem to have a nearly supernatural talent when it comes to Jameson offering Peter more money over the phone, but still. It's also possible that Jameson just talks really, really loud which is also believable. Also, if Peter is really that interested in doling out justice and getting paid for it, he should become a bounty hunter.

TIL: Mary Jane is awfully sassy today.

A Decent Plan

...that's actually a pretty good plan. Also, it doesn't seem to involve Google or television at all. I'm surprised, Mister Parker. Quite surprised. Also, is it possible that Stan Lee has been setting this up? I mean, the secret identity thing was a plot thread a few storylines ago. Either he forgot about it and is just now picking it back up, or he was actually planning this. Curious.

TIL: The fact that Peter is actually being a bit pro-active.

Spider-Fugitive

I'm sure he could set a web-foot outside and be safe from the police for a bit. After all, he can web-sling, and I understand that's a pretty fast mode of transportation. No cops will be able to lay a finger on him. When he lands, of course, the police will all over him. Ah, and if they decide to break out the helicopter. Which, to be honest, would probably be more exciting than Peter trying to be a detective.

TIL: Mary Jane, who obviously remembers the last fifteen times this happened.