Thursday, November 30, 2006

Remembering the Past

Calm down, Peter. Doctor Octopus won't hurt a hostage right away. He had you for a full fifteen minutes before he slammed you into a wall, didn't he? Also, you should have spent the time you were preparing to unleash you spider-strength steeling yourself for an attack. I see the spider-sense lines. You had time.

Also, when I was reading this installment, I got to thinking of previous installments. Namely, this one. Why in the world would Doctor Octopus go through all the trouble of finding out where Mary Jane was filming and luring her husband there, just to go off somewhere to send Mary Jane a piece of Peter's shirt? Is today "everyone act really dumb" day in the Spider-Man comic strip? And by today, I mean in comic strip time. At least it's better than Jameson in love.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Idiotic Peter Parker

That guard has such an effeminate "getting hit" pose. Also, Peter Parker must have taken some sort of drug when he woke up this morning because he's just doing stupid thing after stupid thing. Trusting an anonymous informant, not trusting his spider-sense, trying to goad Ock into a battle, and now trusting that this guard will take care of Doctor Octopus. Seriously, Peter, what did you expect to happen? The guard to save the day? You're supposed to have the intellect of a science major, Peter. Act like it.

(From the FUTURE: Should have made a SWAT team joke, considering the sound effect in panel two.)

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Deformed Octopus

Doctor Octopus looks really deformed in the last panel. I also like how he's doing a Spider-Man crouch.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Illogical Octopus

By Doctor Octopus's logic, he'd be able to crush Spider-Man without Mary Jane as it's been established that Peter and Spider-Man have some sort of business relationship going as well. Also, Spider-Man can hurt you, Doc. He just chooses not to since all you power is in your tentacles. If he punched your body, you'd get splattered against a wall.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Starstruck Octopus?

Doctor Octopus just looks like he's leering at Mary Jane. Is he so star-struck that he can't move a limb, metal or otherwise, to attack? Meanwhile, Peter is being all angsty about the situation he stumbled into. Next time, Peter, trust that danger sense you have. Unless it's a plot-specific danger sense, which doesn't work against malicous butlers and evil scientists, in which case you're just screwed from here on out.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Not Speedy: Cunning.

This explains how Doctor Octopus got from the observatory to the movie shoot so fast. They're the same place. I have to admit, this is the first part of Ock's plan that makes sense. I also enjoy how Ock stole a paper. C'mon, you think he'd actually pay for a paper? Also, the fact that Peter didn't know and Ock did kind of makes me worried about the amount of communication in the Parker marriage. Hopefully we won't have to sit through a marriage counseling storyline anytime soon.

Friday, November 24, 2006

Speedy Octopus

For the record, Pete, Doc Ock doesn't want to harm your wife. He only wants to harm Spider-Man, and would probably only use Mary Jane in the same way he's using you. So, in all actuality, the best thing you can do to protect your wife at this point is absolutely nothing. Also, Doc Ock has a remarkable turn of speed if he could get from that conservatory to Mary Jane's shoot in what appears to be the blink of an eye. Add that to Ock's incredible balance and metal tentacles and he's a force to be reckoned with. Now, if he would only work on his drinking problem...

Thursday, November 23, 2006

In the Clutches of Doctor Octopus! ...again.

I doubt Doctor Octopus' plan would have worked out that well, unless Mary Jane had memorized every single shirt Peter brought with him. It would have been a slightly different matter if she had seen Peter in the shirt earlier in the day, though. Then again, I could technically tear off a piece of my shirt, send it to someone, and claim it's Peter's shirt as well. In that case, Ock could have torn off a piece of his own shirt and just sent Peter to Anaheim or something while claiming to have captured him. I wish something would happen in the strip.

Oh, and happy Thanksgiving. I'm thankful Jonah's storyline has been put on the back-burner.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Adam West

While this is carrying on the plot point (ie-Captured Peter) I loathed yesterday, the strip gains a few points from the heavy-handed Adam West reference. Call me crazy, but I like the heavy-handedness of it.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Balancing Act

Doctor Octopus has awfully good balance for a chubby guy with four metal tentacles jutting out of his back, doesn't he? Also, Peter: please do something heroic. I don't think I can stand a week of you "struggling" with a tentacle.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Spider-Sense? Pishaw.

It's a shame Peter Parker doesn't have some sort of sixth sense that warned him of danger, like some sort of oh, spider-sense. Oh wait, he does. Why in the world was it not kicking in when Doctor Octopus grabbed him? Hopefully, this will be explained. Realistically, it won't be.

Sunday, November 19, 2006


Hm, it looks like Peter Parker's long run of bad luck with public transportation is at an end. Good for him. However, he is not trusting his spider-sense, which warns him of danger. This is the equivalent of you or me having, "IT'S A TRAP!" shouted at us at close range, and still going into the trap. In short, it's stupid. Then again, Peter has been acting weird since he woke up this morning. However, since Doctor Octopus is standing right there in the open, you would think Peter or someone else on the bus would see him and remark on it. As it is, it looks like Peter Parker is going to be captured by Doc Ock in the comic week.

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Naive Shoddiness

Ah, comic strip Peter Parker is very naive. Also, is Doc Ock planning on holding Peter as a sort of ransom or something in order to lure Spider-Man and Mary Jane to him? If so, that's a really shoddy plan, right there.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Dirty Half-Dozen

There's like a hundred things wrong with this comic and what it portends. Seriously, I'm dumbfounded by this comic. I shall now endeavor to list the things wrong with it, then try to justify them:

1) Peter Parker is somehow unable to recognize the voice of one of his deadliest foes. Of course, Doctor Octopus could be disguising his voice, but I don't foresee the good Doctor as being adept at such a thing.
2) Mary Jane and Peter haven't lived in California for more than a month. Unless a phone book came out during that time, Doc Ock would not be able to find their number from his squalid hideout. Even if a phone book had come out, the Parkers, with Mary Jane being a rising starlet, would no doubt want their number unlisted. Alternatively, they could be staying at a hotel. The same problem arises, as the hotel clerk would probably not allow people to call through to Mary Jane's room.
3) Doc Ock has a phone and television in his squalid hideout. Being a technical genius, he may have rigged up a way for both items to work without public power and without having to pay the phone company a dime.
4) I'm not sure, but I would think Peter Parker's spider-sense would be going off as this is obviously a trap for Mary Jane. Unless it only works in close proximity to the source of danger, and not over the phone.
5) Peter Parker is not an idiot. Would he honestly believe someone calling him out of the blue for a "photo scoop"? Also, if it's truly a photo scoop, wouldn't such a thing be fairly short-lived and photographed by everyone around so they could post it on YouTube or something? Unless Peter knows it's a trap.
6) Peter is probably going to web-sling to the destination, as he's not one for public transportation. Even when he does take the bus or subway, something happens and he has to don the spider-suit anyway. So what this amounts to is that Spider-Man is going to show up at the location Doc Ock has provided. Hopefully, Doc Ock is just setting this up to make sure Peter is out of the way while Ock kidnaps Mary Jane.

So I was wrong, there's only a half-dozen.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Octopus Scolding

For God's sake, Doc, that's the second television set you've smashed since this storyline started! I know you're drunk and all revved up to go after Spider-Man again, but you have to show some restraint! Also, are you that dependent on television that you can't wait to steal a new set until after your latest caper? That little "oops" pose you're doing in the last panel does not earn you my sympathy, either. Get your act together, Ock, or you'll never succeed in your schemes.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Determined Octopus

First off, further hoorays for no Jonah's romance. Second, it turns out the west coast isn't really any smarter than the east coast when it comes to discovering secret identities. As the blonde gossip illustrates, they'll pick up on the first part of the puzzle (Mary Jane Parker and Spider-Man come to Hollywood around the same time) and just sort of go an entirely different direction with it.

On another note, it looks like the blonde gossip is tearing off her lips. That's creepy.

EDIT: It actually looks like she's tearing off her entire mouth. That's even creepier.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Drunken Octopus?

Dear God. Doctor Octopus is a disheveled mess. What did he do, sit around watching television all night, hoping to see something about Spider-Man? Then again, considering his odd speech pattern and declaration of intent, he was probably out all night drinking. In any case, this strip brings me much joy due to it not involving Jonah's subplot at all. Also, it would appear that people on the west coast are infinitely more intelligent and observant than people on the east coast. In comic time, Spider-Man and Mary Jane haven't been there a month and the media is already picking up on a connection between the two. In any case, you can bet your apples that at some point in the near future Doc Ock is going to kidnap Mary Jane.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Monday Recap

Today's strip is just a recap of yesterday's strip, done for the benefit of those who don't get the Sunday strips. When my paper did carry the Sunday strips, they seemed to be recaps of the events of the previous week.

On a semi-related note, for the past two months or so some newspapers have been packaging in reprints of the classic "Amazing Spider-Man" comic book. Since they are, technically, part of the newspaper should I include brief summaries or reviews of them in this blog? I'm torn on the subject, which is why I'm asking what limited readership I have. Unless, of course, I have no readership, which sort of renders the whole thing moot.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Robbie Robertson: "JONAH JAMESON'S IN LOVE??!!!"

Well, I'll be! It's Joseph "Robbie" Robertson, probably the closest thing Jonah Jameson has to an actual friend. I'm glad Stan Lee didn't forget about him, and I enjoy his reaction shot to the news that "Jonah Jameson's in Love," with all of its glorious exclamation points and question marks. However, I want to see an end to this subplot as soon as possible. The last thing the world needs is Jonah trying to work his wiles on Maria Lopez. I'm also quite surprised Jonah was able to use his cell phone to call Robbie, as the man earlier showed that he was unable to remove a lens cap in a timely manner. Chances are, he hired a street urchin to dial the number for him.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Jonah Jameson: Loitering All Night (Partying Every Day?)

While the third panel brings up disturbing images of yesterday's debacle, the second panel illustrates that Peter Parker wouldn't put anything past Jonah Jameson. Doctor Octopus has to be up to deviltry, but Jameson could be up to anything. Right now he's loitering. I'm not sure how long Jonah has been standing there, but considering how the panel's coloring suggests day, it would seem he's been standing there all night.

Friday, November 10, 2006


As a precaution, and so that no others must look at the horror of the middle panel, I have taken the liberty of censoring it. However, you can see the uncensored strip by clicking on the image above. It is quite disturbing, and you can now consider yourself warned. Suffice to say, the doorman's bemused expression with what has happened in today's "Spider-Man" strip does not reflect my feelings on the matter.

As to the events of the middle panel, I think it's safe to say one of two things about the Jonah Jameson of the comic strip continuity:
1) He is either a bachelor, a widow, or divorced. I know his comic book counterpart is twice married, and the Jameson of the 1994 animated series was widowed when his wife was gunned down by a masked criminal.
2) Jonah is a lecherous scoundrel in the comic strip continuity.

The green fellow is my avatar, Mike P, and more of him can be seen here if you wish to. He is doing a sacred duty, protecting you from what lies beneath that comic strip.

Thursday, November 09, 2006


Jonah is definitely buttering up Maria for something, though I have no idea what. After the first panel, though, the strip sort of peters off into nonsense. It would be a lot less confusing if they weren't so obviously trying to illustrate that Jonah is something. Is Jonah attempting to skip out on the check? Why would he skip out on a check when he's obviously keen on paying? Why, exactly, are Maria Lopez and him out on the town in the first place? I hope we get back to Spider-Man or Doctor Octopus or something soon.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006


JONAH JAMESON, for the love of God, you're at least twice her age and probably married! Stop hitting on her! And you, Maria Lopez, stop acting like you enjoy it! When you first met him you could care less about him. Also, does Jonah have a reputation among old white guys? Otherwise, how would those two in the last panel know anything about him?

However, the gray haired chap in the last panel brings up an interesting point. Did you ever see a tigress dining with a shark? More so, did you ever see a tiger fighting a shark? Perhaps a TIGER SHARK? You could call it something like Tiger/Shark, and focus it on a tiger who escapes from a circus or something around the Gulf of Mexico, who ends up fighting a tiger shark in the waters around it. All the while you'd have the rugged man trying to catch the tiger, the attractive co-ed who wants to stop him so the tiger can be returned to the wild, and perhaps someone controlling the tiger sharks with a phermone that would result in the titular clash of animals.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Maria Lopez: Archcriminal

Notice the gleeful look on Mary Jane's face when she posits that Jonah Jameson and Maria Lopez will be at each other's throats. Next thing you know, she'll be taking meddling lessons from Mary Worth just so she can see disastrous relationships. Speaking of relationships, I hope that Jameson and Lopez are just sharing a friendly drink after a successful broadcast. Reasons why:
1) I'm pretty sure Jameson is married.
2) Jameson's heart would only get broken. Lopez only has eyes for her cameraman.
3) Jameson is probably like, three times her age.

Ah, wait. That's it. Lopez is a gold-digger who's after Jonah's immense newspaper fortune. Now all this makes sense. She pulled strings to get her target a job in Los Angeles (I doubt Jameson could become a broadcast journalist otherwise), and will proceed to seduce him and have her cameraman murder him so she can collect the money. Or at least she would if a certain web-slinger did not involve himself...

Monday, November 06, 2006

Half a Mask

Not much to say about today's Spider-Man. Well, for those not familar with him, Spider-Man is not wearing half a mask here. It's merely artistic license so that we know it's Spider-Man. You know, in case you forgot about him coming in through the window in the first panel, or didn't notice him holding the costume in the third panel.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

A Fantastic Cameo

Ah, Spider-Man doing what Spider-Man does best: web-slinging and hunting down dangerous super-criminals. Note that the colorists for the strip neglected to make it actually look like nighttime in the strip. Also note the brief Fantastic Four cameo in the panel where the couple is watching television. In an ideal world, Spider-Man would run into another costumed crusader ever other storyline or so, but I only remember him teaming up with the X-Men's Beast and Namor, the Sub-Mariner. I think the Hulk showed up as well, but I'm not sure.

Saturday, November 04, 2006


HE'S RETALIATING! HE'S RETALIATING! Wow, I feel so vindicated right now. It's amazing. Somewhere along the way, Doctor Octopus either stole a new television or shoved Jonah's head in a microwave. Because that television set looks a heck of a lot like a microwave. What's more important is that Jonah's words are spurring both the hero and villain into the open, hopefully establishing the scene for another battle between the two with Jonah once again caught in the middle. I mean, come on, he's a news anchor who has a history with Spider-Man and Doctor Octopus. There's no way the station wouldn't send him to the scene of the battle, and no way Jonah would sit idly by while his favorite wall-crawler was battling evil. It also, potentially, opens things up for things such as Peter Parker regaining his job by snapping some photos or Mary Jane's set to be ruined, and everyone going back to New York. Not that the West Coast is a bad thing.

As for Peter getting his job back, this is how it usually works: Peter snaps some shots, lords them over Jonah and claims some other paper will pay him handsomely for them. Jonah then welcomes Peter back with open arms, pays him half of what the pictures are worth, and everything's back to normal.

Friday, November 03, 2006

The More Things Change...

Then again, this change of locale may breath new life into the strip. Despite being set on the west coast and having Jonah Jameson as a talking head, this storyline is turning out to be one of the most traditional storylines I've seen in a while. We have Peter Parker fired, Jonah bashing Spider-Man, and a supervillian on the loose. I'll reserve any further judgement on the basis of Doctor Octopus' retaliation, if he does in fact retaliate.

Metapost: Sorry

For some reason, Blogger is not letting me upload pictures at the moment. I'll try to have the post up in the afternoon. However, if you're jonesing for some "Spider-Man", I shall direct you to where you need to be:

Houston Chronicle Spider-Man Page

That page should update daily for you, if you want to read "Spider-Man" without my comments. Which is perfectly understandable.

EDIT: It was not Blogger preventing me from posting, but Firefox.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Jonah Jameson IS A SELL-OUT.

Mary Jane brings up a good point. Barring an unforseen circumstances, she will continue to make movie star money. I admire Peter not wanting to be a mooch, but seriously, she's a movie star. Unless he gets into acting as well, anything he gets will be chump change compared to movie star money.

The second panel, however, is where this particular strip really grabbed me. How the hell did Jonah Jameson get a co-anchor position within a day? Not only that, but why would he accept it?
1) Jonah has a large metropolitan newspaper to attend to. He does not have time to be a talking head.
2) Jonah has a long-standing rivalry with the television media. At least, as far as I'm aware of. They're the competition. Is Jonah eschewing his journalistic integrity for the relative novelty of being a news anchor?

For the moment, it looks like Doctor Octopus has made his way, unimpeded, back to his lair. Could the minor battle between him and Spider-Man broken his spirit? I hope not. Right now, I want Doc Ock to march his way into that TV station and make sure Jonah knows his place: at the Daily Bugle, in New York City. If he could stop by Mary Jane's studio and wreck that, so much the better.

Please, Stan Lee, I know you're not reading this but for the love of God, restore to the wall-crawler some of the dignity he once had under your hand. Please?

Wednesday, November 01, 2006

Peter Parker: Unemployed Layabout?

As I said yesterday, Peter can't get fired because he's a freelancer. Even then, Jameson fires him on a fairly regular basis. Fighting Doctor Octopus is no excuse, however, as Peter has fought plenty of super-villains and managed to take some pictures of the battles. Also, you might not want to be smashing tables. It could only lead to trouble. You could be labeled as abusive, psychotic, or drunk. Not to mention that it could reveal that you have the proportionate strength of a spider.

Ah, wait, I see where this is going. Peter is going to go off and find Doc Ock, beat him up and take some pictures, and "get his job" at the Daily Bugle back. Or, he'll just whine and pout for several days about losing the job.