Friday, June 29, 2007

Friday Quickie

Peter Parker has officially stopped caring about his secret identity, unless the cab driver is very stupid or very blind. Also, he's slowly turning into David Hasslehoff.

TIL: A comic strip about David Hasslehoff may be better than this.

Also, Spider-Man reference in "Baby Blues" for 06/29/2007:

Thursday, June 28, 2007

Metapost: New Blog, kind of.

I've got a new blog going on, but the content is not new. I'm experimenting with putting my webcomic on a blog, as I think the tag feature of Blogger will benefit it. You can find it here. It's not completely updated yet, but should be by the end of next week.

Thursday Trifecta

Once again, sorry for not updating. I literally fell asleep at the computer last night when I meant to update, but now I make amends. Or, at least, catch up with the two strips I missed and the the latest strip.

06/26/2007:I have to wonder how little the plot would move if everyone in this universe didn't have their televisions on all the time. Doctor Octopus would still be sitting around in his ramshackle hideout, and no one important would know about Dara Dorset. A strip called "The Especially Slow-Moving Glacier" would probably be speedier.

TIL: I hope Jonah always stands around grimacing as his television set.

Everyone in the strip is just now thinking of something I brought up on Sunday. I don't know why Maria is so surprised, as I doubt you can trace a call that's already ended. Maria's anger at the poor schmuck (no doubt some gopher in the wrong place at the wrong time) makes me wish she would fight Margo Magee from "Apartment 3-G". Margo would win, of course, no question about that. It would just be something to see.

TIL: That poor schmuck. Is he the cameraman/director from Saturday and Sunday's strips, I wonder?

I pray that we get to see the guest host, and that he or she is someone interesting. I do not hope that the guest host is either Parker, and we are therefore subjected to either Mary Jane being mopey about not being able to see Peter on Maria's show, or Peter having to pull off a Fred Flintstone-like scheme where he dashes from television studio to television studio in order to pull off both appearances. I know they're probably filmed and broadcast later, but you can't expect this strip to follow that kind of logic.

TIL: Those two guys in the background of the third panel. It looks like they're playing with a periscope.

Monday, June 25, 2007

Technical Difficulties

Today... wait a second. That's not "The Amazing Spider-Man". It's "Zippy the Pinhead". In any case, it tells us that going too far is half the pleasure of not getting anywhere. I assure you, there is no pleasure to be sought from the snail-like pace of "Spider-Man". Oh, here's the actual comic:
Eerily reminiscent of "I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today". What good is telling someone you'll give them proof later when they need the proof now? Any maniac could be calling up Maria Lopez and telling her they're Spider-Man, and to prove it he'll swing in on a web. We know it's Peter, though. I hope we cut to Jameson soon, and I hope he's doing something interesting. Anyone doing anything interesting, actually. Maybe Land Captain can battle Weasel or something, because that's something I would really like to see.

TIL: Peter talking out of the side of his mouth like a ventriloquist. Wait, actually I don't like that, or the fact that Maria Lopez looks quite creepy. Be half-way decent again soon, comic strip. Please?

Sunday, June 24, 2007

Apology, then... BLAH BLAH BLAH.

First off, I'd like to apologize for the lack of timely updates. I've just been in one of those moods when the last thing I want to be doing is surfing the Internet and generating what they like to call "content". However, take heart that this Blog has not died yet. It's one of the longest things I've kept up with! That said, here's your updates.

06/23/2007:Well, the Parkers and everyone else are still undead. Mary Jane still looks like Morticia Addams, and that's pretty much the only enjoyment I'm getting out of this strip at the moment. I'm sorry, but I can't bring myself to care about Maria Lopez's vain attempts to get in the web-slinger's tights. Mainly because WE JUST DID SOMETHING LIKE THIS. At least this time, Mary Jane is in on it.

TIL: The cameraman looks like a pageboy.

06/24/2007:I have to admit, I am rather interested in how he's going to prove he's Spider-Man over the phone. Not to mention the fact that both parties are using cell phones. This means they both have caller ID, and an enterprising soul could theoretically use this knowledge to unearth Spider-Man's secret identity. Peter should have used a pay phone.

TIL: The shadowy hand of doom in the bottom middle panel. I hope it's something ominous and not the director telling Maria she has five minutes to camera, or whatever.

Friday, June 22, 2007

Blah blah blah... UNDEAD.

06/21/2007:I hope some super-villain crashes the celebration. I hope SOMETHING happens.

TIL: It looks like Maria Lopez is trapped in the television.

06/22/2007:I am not getting the passage of time in this strip. Either Maria has been pleading to get Spider-Man to talk to her for a very long time, or Peter and Mary Jane have just been hopping about their apartment. On the plus side, it appears that everyone has become undead, so maybe things will get interesting.

TIL: The fact that everyone has become undead.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

The Mundanity Continues

06/19/2007:She's a reporter, Peter. She wouldn't rush home and take a nap when she has an exclusive story to deliver. Though I do have to give credit to the fact that Peter left the television on. Every other time he'd probably be like, "Nah, I'll turn it off anyway" and miss out on something big.

TIL: It's getting increasingly difficult to fill this spot. The newsman looks sort of funny, though.

06/20/2007:How old is Maria Lopez supposed to be, anyway? In some strips she looks to be in her mid-twenties, in today it looks like she's had "work done" and her face is all pinched up. The differences between her different faces is quite evident in the first panel. In the first panel, it also looks like Spider-Man is leering at her chest. Not to mention the fact that Peter has changed into his pajamas and gotten into bed in the space of what was most likely moments, and looks eerily like "Zippy the Pinhead".

TIL: The amount of speed-lines in panel one. They're probably supposed to be reflections off glass, but it's more fun to think they're speed-lines.

Metapost: Spider-Man Metapost at Comics Curmudgeon

Spider-Man Metapost!

Someone sent the Comics Curmudgeon a copy of a Spider-Man strip from 1978. It's worth a look, it is, because it's actually pretty good.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Cheesecake Mary Jane Continues

06/17/2007:I can't make up my mind about how I feel about this strip. I will say this, however: when I'm reading this strip, the voices I give the characters aren't Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst. I hear the voice-actors from "Spider-Man: The Animated Series", which would be Christopher Daniel Barnes and Sara Ballantine, according to the IMDB. I am intrigued by the "Next" box, though. Things are going to get wild again? In order for something to happen again, doesn't it have to happen a first time?

TIL: The fact that it's day two of Mary Jane in a nightgown thing. I'm wondering how long it's going to last.

06/18/2007:I have only one question: Does this strip take place before or after the implied ensuing kinkiness of yesterday's strip? I'm guessing it's before, because I doubt the Spider-Man costume would still be on Peter if it's after. Unless they both like it that way? Which is entirely possible. Also, that last panel pretty much tells us that people in this universe can see, but not hear a blasted thing. This is why Daredevil is a super-hero: he can actually hear things.

TIL: It's day three of nightgown Mary Jane, and only one thing is on my mind: I wish Peter would get a new hair-style. I also hope that the strip becomes amusing again pretty soon, as I'm tired of putting random musings in the "Thing I Liked" section, rather than something I liked.

Saturday, June 16, 2007


Spider-Man makes it sound like he wouldn't care if Kordok had killed Dorset and gotten away. Which is not a very healthy attitude to take about super-heroics. It's a good thing Mary Jane is there (how she got back to their apartment and changed into that nightgown thing before Spider-Man web-slinged back is a question we won't dwell upon), otherwise he may call the whole super-hero thing a bust. I think we all know what's going to happen next, so we'll probably cut out for a bit since this is a family strip.

TIL: The third panel. It's as if Stan Lee and Larry Lieber are conceding that the previous storyline sucked and are trying to make amends for it. I'll let you decide if this does the job or not.

Spider-Man in "Heart of the City": Week Two

"Heart of the City" continues its Spider-Mania for its second straight week:

It might be done, but there may be a wrap-up next week? If so, that means they did an entire storyline in less than a month.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Bounty Hunting?

If we're lucky, this will lead to Jonah offering a reward for Spider-Man's mask/secret identity which will lead to extreme bounty hunting shenanigans. If we're not lucky, he'll try to find out Spider-Man's identity for himself. Such a thing could be fun (spider-slayers, anyone?) but knowing this strip, it'll be another three months of nonsense.

TIL: Jonah's facial expressions.

Thursday, June 14, 2007


Here, Jonah Jameson proves himself to have some amount of intelligence heretofore unseen. Maria Lopez, on the other hand, proves to be dumber than a rock. Everyone in this strip who has tried to find out Spider-Man's secret identity have failed, and in some cases paid a terrible price. When they do succeed, it doesn't stick. I remember a storyline featuring a circus guy and Frog-Man (who could jump really high) where the circus guy stole Mary Jane's wallet and keys, and discovered Peter Parker was Spider-Man. After a crime spree, the guy got amnesia by being kicked in the head by Frog-Man. So Maria Lopez has the following to look forward to:

1) Failure and sadness
2) Death
3) Some sort of amnesia

I, for one, miss Frog-Man and hope he comes back someday.

TIL: Jameson's head in panel three. I hear a trumpet going "BWA BWA BWAAAAAAA" for that panel.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Maria Lopez: Starting to Grate on Me

06/12/2007:Jonah is looking creepier and creepier as the days progress. Also, is anyone else getting the vibe that Maria is going to keep the tape for herself, since it features her newest crush? Soon, she'll be posting bad poetry on her LiveJournal about how much she loves Spider-Man, and how over Jonah Jameson she is. Maybe some girl talk about her new BFF Dara Dorset.

TIL: The little sign thing on top of Maria's news van made me think it was a pizza delivery truck for a moment.

06/13/2007:Spider-Man should be half-way across the city by now, unless we sort of did a flash-back and yesterday's comic took place while Spider-Man was swinging off to do whatever. Either that, or he's just swinging around the block for no apparent reason. Poor Jonah looks quite weary in the second panel, there. I think all of this excitement took a lot out of the poor guy. I would also like to point out Maria's nose in the third panel. In fact, the third panel in general, which is really making me start to dislike her. More on this as it develops.

TIL: Jonah's impeccable grammar in panel one. Good show, old chap.

Monday, June 11, 2007


A re-hash of yesterday's final two panels, but this time I realized that Mary Jane shouting "Honey!" at Spider-Man is probably the worst thing she could be doing for either of them. If anyone hears, it will spell trouble. Mark my words, it will spell trouble.

TIL: It looks like Spider-Man is going to swing right into that palm tree.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Panel by Panel

Today, I'm going to break this thing down panel by panel.

Panel One: It's never a good sign when the narrator starts breaking the fourth wall like this. Especially this instance, where it seems like something from a tutorial.

Panel Two: I have never noticed that little box before, despite it apparently being in every Sunday strip. In any case, it meshes with the list that was posted a while ago with everyone who works on this strip. Alex Saviuk is still doing the Sunday strips, and Stan Lee still has a credit, probably for writing. The only name unaccounted for is "Amash" who is probably the inker or something.

Panel Three: Spider-Man is being awfully flippant that the man who helps pay his bills just got a story pulled out from under him.

Panel Four: Spider-Man should know better than to remark that his life is good, considering how whenever his life is good something happens to screw it up.

Panel Five: That's one weird-looking Maria Lopez right there.

Panel Six: Nothing to say about this panel.

Panel Seven: Oh! I know how to draw a four-sided triangle! The technique is called, I believe, "drawing a square".

TIL: Jonah in panel three. He looks like an aging Dick Tracy.

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Maria Lopez in LOVE

This is the second time they've accidentally made Maria Lopez's hair red, making her look not unlike Mary Jane. Except with spikier bangs. Unfortunately, it looks like the next storyline will involve Maria Lopez trying to win Spider-Man's spoken-for heart. I hope there's more to it then that, but I doubt there will be.

Oh God. Jonah Jameson and Maria Lopez were also an item once. This does not bode well.

TIL: I actually did not like anything about today's strip. I'm sorry, but it's true.

Spider-Man in "Heart of the City"

"Heart of the City" has had a Spider-Man reference every day this week, and it looks like it's going to continue to next week as well. Here's the first week of strips:

I won't ask how Dean is doing all the web-slinging in the first three strips.

Friday, June 08, 2007

Portly Angel

Okay, the whole storyline was worth the second panel here. I laughed for a whole minute when I saw Kurt Kordok falling from the sky like a portly angel, only to be caught (one-handed, mind you) by the Amazing Spider-Man. This, by the way, does wrap everything up in a single comic. Maria Lopez is saved, Kurt Kordok is captured (for real this time, I hope) and his getaway vehicle is grounded. The writer can move awfully fast when he wants to.

TIL: Panel two.

Thursday, June 07, 2007

Superman Revisted

Oh wow, I am so surprised that Spider-Man saved Maria Lopez. Did not see that coming, no sir. Also, this is the third reference to DC Comics that has been made since I started this Blog, and the second reference to Lois Lane. Incidentally, Spider-Man has met Lois Lane on several occasions in both his civilian, super-hero, and cloned guises. I realize, however, that all those meetings were not only in the comic books, but out of continuity with those comic books.

TIL: I guess the Lois Lane reference. I GUESS.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Henchmen and Webbing

06/05/2007:I just love the names of Kordok's henchmen. Lug, Angel, Weasel, and now Spike. They're like the seven dwarves! Except, you know, evil henchmen.

TIL: Spider-Man in panel three. I know he has some sort of plan, most likely, but it strikes me as him just showing off.

06/06/2007:Okay, now I realize Spider-Man's webbing is awfully strong, but a single strand of it holding a helicopter is a bit too much. I also don't know what the heck is going on in the second panel there. The speed lines, coupled with the lack of background, just makes it look like Kordok and Maria are dancing.

TIL: I actually like that it looks like they're dancing.

Monday, June 04, 2007

Ace in the Hole

It would be really funny if the helicopter had absolutely nothing to do with Kordok and was just flying overhead. Instead, Kordok's "Ace in the hole" was another swift punch to Spider-Man's gut. Also, Maria Lopez could probably wiggle her way out of Kordok's grip if she really wanted to.

TIL: Kordok and Maria look like young lovers in the second panel.

Sunday, June 03, 2007


06/01/2007:When I first read this, I thought the third panel read "It's time to make my movie!" Needless to say, it does not, but things would be far more interesting if it had.

TIL: Mary Jane mugging for the camera.

06/02/2007:Aw man, I thought we were done with Kurt Kordok! Maria Lopez shows off some great compassion in panel one there, so it's a bit of instant karma that she's Kordok's next hostage. Also, if Kordok is really that dangerous, you'd think there would be more than one cop taking him in.

TIL: Not the fact that we have to deal with Kordok for another week.

06/03/2007:You know, I actually like today's comic. Not only does Spider-Man put Jonah in his place, but the next box proclaiming that things will be wrapped up? That is the best news I have ever heard. Also, it's funny that the cop Kordok knocked out went from an African-American to a Caucasian. You'd think there'd be coloring guides, but no...

TIL: The next box! Hooray!